The Gender Box
by HikaKiti
Summary: Jinta broke one of Urahara's expiraments. Now, everyone has some problems... Matsumoto has no back pain, and Ichigo had a little too much bounce. What exactly did Jinta do?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Jinta shouldn't have broken the little glass box. He shouldn't have shattered the vial of purple-blue liquid inside. It wasn't just wrong because he broke it, and told no one – it was wrong because of what that vial was. Of course, he wouldn't find out until morning. He swept it under a floorboard, glanced around quickly, and pretended nothing happened.

Idiot.

_Tenth Division Office Bathroom_

"TAAAIIIICHOOOO!" Matsumoto screamed, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She'd woken up, hangover as usual, and stumbled into the bathroom to throw up. Now she found herself straightening. And she was terrified.

Because her back pain was gone. And with it...

She stared at herself. She didn't believe it. She couldn't. But there it was.

"Matsumoto, what the heck is going on? Are you in your towel again?" Her captain had arrived, a hand covering his eyes as he walked into the doorway of the bathroom.

Truth be told, Matsumoto was fully dressed, and she told him so, her eyes squeezed shut. She heard a mutter and saw, out of the very tiniest of cracks in her eye, him flick his fingers apart. And his jaw dropped.

"What..."

"WHAT HAPPENED!" She demanded, spinning to face him and then freezing. "Oh my god..."

Hitsugaya Toshiro gaped at her, then noticed her gaping at him. His cat-like eyes narrowed. "W-what?"

"T-tai..." she walked forward, stunned, fingers outstretched, and Toshiro took a step back. Then he caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

Immediately his hand jerked up to his head. "NO."

"Taicho! You've got-" Matsumoto cried, her hand brushing his chest. He jumped back, eyes huge.

"Stop!" he ordered. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" He pulled at his hair, which was falling in messy spikes all the way down, past his shoulders, to the mid-point of his back. The temperature in the room was dropping rapidly. Matsumoto shivered.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WHY WOULD I DO THIS?" She gestured to herself. Then she moved. "But... my back feels great."

"MATSUMOTO!"

There was a rustled sound – the door to the office. A blonde girl shoved into the bathroom, looking terrified. "Rang-" The blonde cut herself off, eyes widening. "Oh my..."

Finally it registered, in both captain and lieutenant. "KIRA?"

The girl – or, uh, guy – lifted a hand and touched his bangs, then reached back and let his fingers run through his long hair. "What... what did we..."

"Urahara." Toshiro said darkly, suddenly, and shoved past Kira. He was holding his hakama together at the front, his cheeks rosy as he pulled his captains robe tighter around him.

More shinigami were bursting into the office – a busty Hisagi, a terrifyingly feminine Kenpachi, a taller, more muscled and short-haired Soi Fon. Toshiro didn't bother asking why they'd all burst into his office. He just grabbed the phone and slammed in the number. "Urahara!"

_Urahara Shop _

"Oi Kisuke!" Urahara woke up sleepily, rolling over. Then his entire form tensed, because Yoruichi was standing in the doorway dressed only in a pair of shorts. That would have been great – except that she wasn't... she...

She was a he.

Urahara was out of bed and rushing for the storefront before he'd even pulled on pants over his boxers. Yoruichi's hand grabbed him and pulled him back. "You can't go out there like that – there's a customer. And you..."

Urahara glanced down. "Uh."

Yoruichi rolled her... his... eyes, and tossed him a kimono. "And you might want to tie that a bit tight."

He nodded numbly, and the phone blared into existence. Cheerfully as he could manage and hoping it wasn't who he thought it was, he picked it up.

Ichigo had reached him first.

"WHY THE HELL AM I-"

A beep occurred. "Huh? Sorry, Kurosaki-san! Another call!" he cried innocently, switching over.

"URAHARA!"

That was Toshiro. Oops!

"Um. Yes. I really think it might be a good idea for everyone to gather in my shop. I'll... explain."

The phone beeped again, but Urahara quickly put it down and straighted up, groaning. "My back hurts." he declared to Yoruichi.

The man stared at him, yellow eyes narrowed. The spiky purple hair was shorter even than it had been when she was a captain. She looked angry. "Get used to it. Or don't, and fix this."

Urahara lowered his head meekly. "... Yes'm.

_**A/N: **Okay... so I... SOMEONE HIT ME. This idea came to me from... fanart. Kick me. Anyways, I don't usually like things like this but... well, I guess because there is a REASON behind this genderswap it doesn't bother me. So, yeah. Please, reviews are wanted. Flames will be used to burn that stupid Peach at the stake. Love~ HikaKiti_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_The Kurosaki Household_

"Ichi-nii? Ichiiiii~ Are you okay?" Yuzu called through the door, her knock hesitant. Ichigo, having just slammed the phone back onto it's holder, spun around, wincing at the bounce.

"Yuzu! I'm fine!" he called, then winced again at the high pitch his voice took. _God _he sounded like a woman. Not that he was surprised, considering at the moment he _was _one. He forcefully lowered his voice. "I'm not eating breakfast today. I think I'll head straight for school."

"Leave him alone, Yuzu, he's being weird again." Karin's voice drifted to him and he listened for their soft footfalls that would tell him they were walking away.

He was standing there, hands on his unusually wide hips while he stared at the floor, when his window slid open, scaring him into jumping and nearly falling onto his butt. "Kuro...Kurosaki-kun!"

The owner of the shriek stood behind the one who had shoved his window open. He was a smooth-muscled man with shaggy auburn hair and huge gray eyes. The pink nightgown was stretched tight on his masculine body, and Ichigo stepped aside in numb shock as a male Orihime climbed in the open window.

The one who had shoved open the window stood outside, face flaring dark with anger. "What. Did. You. Do." he bit each word. Long black hair fell in an onyx river down the girl's back, and her dark blue eyes were flaming. Her body was curvy and very girly.

"Ishida? Inoue?" Ichigo choked out. Ishida glanced back and then pushed himself into the room, sliding the window shut behind him.

"Kurosaki-kun! Why am I... eh... Kurosaki-kun makes a pretty girl!" Orihime gave a very un-manly bounce and giggled, creeping Ichigo out further.

Ishida crossed his arms over his now ample chest after pushing up his glasses with nimble fingers. "Kurosaki! What did you do?"

"I didn't do this! Why the hell would I?" he shouted, and heard the noises from downstairs stop. "I already called Urahara. He hung up on me-"

The phone rang on the desk and Ichigo raced for it, whipping Ishida in the face with his long hair as he turned. He pulled it up hurriedly to his ear.

"Ah... hello... Kurosaki-san." Ichigo hadn't noticed it before, but Urahara's voice was definitely different.

"You idiot shopkeeper! Why the hell am I-"

"Everything will be explained! Come to my shop please!"

There was a click before Ichigo could speak again, and then the dial tone. Ichigo snarled and snapped the phone shut. Ishida and Orihime stared at him. "Well?" Ishida snapped finally.

"He wants us to go to his shop." Ichigo said, already tired by all of this. Ishida turned and went for the window, before stopping.

"No one can see us like this – they'll recognize us." he sighed, rubbing his face beneath the rimless glasses. "Inoue-san needs a change of clothes." He hadn't commented on the fact that both he and Ichigo were wearing loose t-shirt that fell almost to their knees. Or about the fact that Ichigo was wearing baggy blue pajama bottoms, and Ishida the same but in white.

Inoue glanced down for the first time and noticed the horrible look of the dress on her. She blushed.

Ichigo shrugged and went to his dresser, tossing a t-shirt and jeans over his shoulder for her. Orihime snuck into the bathroom, leaving Ichigo and Ishida in his room looking awkward. Finally the girl who was for now a guy returned in a black t-shirt and jeans and they all climbed out the window.

Unfortunately, Ichigo's dad looked up. "ICHIGO HAD TWO HOT GIRLS IN HIS ROOM?" he bellowed.

Ichigo gagged as they ran off along the roof and saw Ishida's moonlight skin pale even further. Orihime blinked like an owl.

They reached Urahara's shop and were shocked to find three others already standing there, two girls and a boy.

The boy was recognizable easily – a slightly more muscled, flat-chested Tatsuki. The other two took a second to know, but they turned out to be Keigo and Mizuiro. Ichigo said nothing, only flitting past quickly and throwing open the thin screen door, sending it rattling.

He was met with a crowded room. Toshiro's girly form and pigtails stood next to a tall blonde man. Toshiro and Matsumoto? "Eh heh heh..." Urahara's girlish laugh made everyone in the room freeze and turn narrowed, fire-bright glares at him. Dressed in a tightly tied green kimono and his usual hat over a long blonde ponytail, he looked sheepish.

"I suppose I should explain..."

_**A/N: **Should be an interesting explanation, ne? Okay, so this was awkward, I know. The coming chapters will be much better - I swear! Holy Hueco Mundo, this is so fun to write. EEEK am I the only one who thinks Toshiro in pigtails would be ADORABLE? _

_I feel awkward, though, cuz my Quincy love is now... a girl. How am I supposed to react to that?_

_Anyways - REVIEW, my shinigami friends! _

_~Quincy-loving-HikaKiti _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_The Urahara Shop_

"It was an experiment from a while ago, meant to be a way to have a disguise if a gigai failed or was too troublesome. I'd put it away because I lost interest. Then," here he paused, smiling grimly and bent down, pulling a red-headed little girl from beneath the stairs. Jinta squirmed, turning slightly red in the face as well. "_She _broke the container it was in, unleashing the chemicals. It affected everyone who had any contact with Soul Society or this shop."

"What about Karin-chan, and Yuzu-chan? They're still girls." It was Orihime who said it, and Ichigo glanced at her. She'd noticed?

Urahara looked puzzled. "I don't know."

"I think a better question is how we fix it." Soi Fon spoke up, sounding grumpy.

Urahara smiled smoothly. "I'm working on it!" he said brightly. "I should have the cure in about... a day... maybe a week..."

That caused some uproar. "I'M STUCK AS A WEAK WOMAN-" Kenpachi snarled, and Nanao and Soi Fon shot daggers at him with their eyes.

Everyone fidgeted and looked uncomfortable. Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Calm down people." she called. "We're trying. I'll keep him on task – but for now you all need to GET OUT."

_Ichigo's Room_

"Why are we all gathering HERE?" Ichigo demanded, leaning on his desk. The frustrated shinigami in his room said nothing, but the dark looks they gave him told him not to put up a fuss. It was worthless, really, since Ichigo never really cared what people _wanted _him to do. He went to cross his hands over his chest and then dropped them with a slight blush.

Ishida, shifting uncomfortably by the door, snorted. "Where do you expect us all to go?"

Orihime fiddled with her hairpins where they were pinned on her borrowed shirt. "Um, Kurosaki-kun... what do we do -"

Ichigo's door was thrown open, knocking into Ishida's backside and sending him forward a step. He glared over his shoulder, then his blue eyes widened. "Eh..."

"I...Ichi-nii..." Yuzu's voice made Ichigo stiffen.

"Crap." Ichigo hissed.

"Yuzu, uh, I'm a little busy now. Can you come back later?"

Ichigo jerked around at the sound of his voice – his masculine voice. Orihime, sitting on the desk chair, had just imitated Ichigo's voice perfectly.

Yuzu muttered an apology and there was a click. Ichigo slipped towards the door and pressed his ear against it in time to hear Yuzu say:

"Ichi-nii was busy. He had a pretty girl in his room, too!"

Ichigo groaned and slammed his head into the wall at the same time Ishida sputtered and stumbled back in horror. Of all the girls in the room Yuzu had to see, it had to be Ishida?

"Is she prettier than Orihime-chan?" Karin's voice was loud enough to be heard without listening, and Orihime glanced up, blushing/

"I don't know, I didn't really see." Yuzu sounded disappointed. "You can try and see though."

"Out!" Ichigo whispered urgently, waving all the shinigami away. "Go go! Hurry!"

They all scrambled for the window and flash-stepped away. Ishida slammed the window closed behind him and Ichigo dove into the closet and hid.

The sound of the door opening was barely recognizable, as if the one opening the door was trying to be quiet. It was stupid, really, because even if she'd been silent one of the like thirty people crammed in his room would have seen her.

"Yuzu, there's not even anybody in there."

Footsteps showed the girls going downstairs and Ichigo sighed, uncurling and stretching his back from where he'd crammed himself in the closet. He opened the door and tumbled out, landing on his butt.

Now, where were all the idiotic shinigami?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_The Mall_

"Ahhhh! Taicho... look!" Matsumoto may have been a guy, but anyone passing by was still staring. It was probably because of the way she was moving, spinning and pointing and grabbing Toshiro's arm.

Toshiro glanced up, annoyed, as she tugged one of his pigtails to get him to look. "Matsumoto, you're a guy now, act like one. You're making people look at us weird."

They passed a group of girls and there was a giggle, "Oh my gosh, how did that pipsqueak girl get _that_ guy? He's totally hot!"

Toshiro's left eyebrow twitched, but he made no comment. Matsumoto grabbed his hand and dragged him into a store.

"What are we doing, Matsumoto?" Toshiro sighed.

"Well, as long as we're like this, I wanna look good! And, sorry Taicho, but in that form you look just weird wearing those clothes."

Toshiro glanced down at the neat white shirt and dark wash jeans. He was about to protest, but Matsumoto wasn't at his side any longer. She'd dashed off into a dressing room. He sighed.

_The Park_

"How is it you don't look that much different, Taicho?" Renji whined, then froze as he realized who he was talking to and what he had said.

Byakuya turned around slowly, eyes cold. "What was that, Abarai?"

Rukia snickered from beside Renji, and the red-headed lieutenant looked panicked. "N-nothing, Taicho!"

Byakuya straightened his robes over a chest that resembled Matsumoto's before she turned dude. "I believe you said I looked much the same as before, did you not?"

"Uh..."

"I see... scatter..."

Renji yelped and backpedaled, eyes growing wide. "I take it back! Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to say it!"

Byakuya paused, watching Renji. "You don't look much different either." he said shortly. "You still have the ridiculous hair."

Renji sputtered, but didn't comment. He wasn't suicidal yet, at least.

_Same Mall As Before_

"Oh~! Ikkaku this will look beautiful on me!"

"You're the only one happy about this, ya pansy." Ikkaku snarled, glaring around at all the people in the store.

"Take what you can get, right?" Yumichika giggled and spun, his long hair slapping a passing girl in the face. The girl cursed and stalked away.

"No, not right. This is _wrong _and you should-"

"Go try this on!"

"I'm not gonna-"

"Ikkaaaaakuuuuuu~" Yumichika's whine was even worse as a girl, more shrill. He batted feather-adorned eyelashes that had doubled in length, purple eyes begging.

"I'm not. There is no way in-"

"Taicho alert!" Yumichika said calmly, flipping his raven locks.

"God, get us out of here, Yumi."

"But I'm not done..." Yumichika stared at the captain. "He's got a ribbon!"

Kenpachi strolled in, taller than everyone in the store. His hair was down and longer than Yumichika's, and perched right on his shoulder was the pink-haired little – for now – boy. Both had big bows tied in their hair, and Kenpachi shot looks around as if daring someone to comment.

"Shiny-shiny, Feathers, lets get ice cream!"

Yachiru looked hungry, and neither liked it when that happened, so they headed for the food court, Yumichika glancing back longingly at the store they had just left while smoothing his miniskirt.

_A Bar_

"This isn't so bad. Ladies night means two free drinks, just 'cause we've got boobs now, Izuru." Hisagi laughed. Kira went slightly pink in the cheeks.

"I don't like it..." He said, playing with the strands of long blonde hair resting just touching his shoulders.

"Hello~ ladies. Can I buy you another drink?" a man with curly dark hair and a dangerous, flirty smile asked as he pulled up a stool beside them.

Kira went dark red while Hisagi paled. "Um, no thank you." Kira said quietly, in his shy way.

The man leaned forward. "Come on, two pretty girls couldn't possibly be here alone..." he reached out and looped a finger in Hisagi's long ponytail.

"Don't touch me. Leave us alone, so we can get back to our drinks." Hisagi growled, pulling away.

The man turned to Kira. "What about you, sweetheart? You wanna-"

"No." Kira said, knocking away the hand as it reached out to touch the long bangs covering his eye.

"Some kind of spoiled little princesses, are ya?" the guy sneered, grabbing Kira's wrist. Kira's visible blue eye turned to fire.

"Get off me." he hissed. The man grinned.

"Feisty."

Hisagi hit the man first, a solid punch right in the nose. He tumbled back off his stool and climbed to his feet, wiping blood off his upper lip.

Kira shivered. "I hate being hit on by a guy." he muttered to Hisagi as he stood. They finished their drinks and went to step past when the man laughed drunkenly and wrapped both arms around Hisagi's middle.

"Sweet thang, you've got a ton of spunk to hit me."

Hisagi went to break the bigger man's grip and found he couldn't. He was smaller and slender and he definitely didn't have room to move. He had a girl's muscles now, and they just couldn't compete with this ripped-up stranger.

Luckily, Kira was there. He swung a foot and brought it up right between the man's legs while chopping with an open hand on his collarbone. The man dropped with a shout and Kira gave a half-smile to his best friend.

They left the bar, pausing a step outside.

"Kira..." Hisagi said, sounding panicked. Kira looked at him.

"WE WERE JUST HIT ON BY A GUY!"

_**A/N: **Poor Hisagi-san and Zuzu-chan. Poor Ikkaku. EVERYONE'S LIFE SUCKS EXCEPT FOR YUMICHIKA! Ahahaha! Anyways, request characters you wanna see, cause I am running low on thinky-fuel. Only a few more ideas left, and then, this will be me: . _

_Okay, enough of my... weirdness. Review! Love~ HikaKiti_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_The park_

"Hey girl, wanna go-"

"No." Byakuya said sharply, getting annoyed now. He turned another corner, hands in the pockets of the jeans Yoruichi had loaned him. He still couldn't be comfortable with the dark grin she'd given him as she handed him the v-neck black sweater. Now he finally understood the reason for it.

That was the – and don't be shocked now – eighth guy in the last _ten minutes _that had tried to ask him on a date. It was definitely getting old. Renji and Rukia had left him when he'd gone back to the shop. He'd already gone back once, to change, and now was tempted to go back and just stay. However, he was the captain of the sixth division, the head of the Kuchiki family, and he did not hide.

The temptation was rising, though, as eight became nine.

"_No_."

_Ichigo's House_

Kon shoved open the drawer he'd been stuffed into by Ichigo the night before and crawled out, panting from the effort it took him to open the desk. He opened his mouth, prepared to yell and curse and shout at the orange-haired teenager, but the slender, smooth leg right by his head caught his sight and he froze.

This wasn't sis, with her thin legs and tall socks, this woman had strong, athletic legs, and her feet were bare. Kon latched himself on, practically purring.

He was sent flying across the room along with an unladylike curse. But the voice that said it – heaven's music. He sat up.

The girl was tall and athletic, wearing Ichigo's boxers and a loose tank-top... and that was it. Not much was left for imagination. And she had a chest much like his previous love – Orihime. Kon felt his nose bleed. "LOVE!" he yelled, leaping forward. "I WANT TO BE SNUGGLED IN THE VALLEY OF THE GODS!"

He didn't even think about the reason for such a pretty girl, with suck spiky, beautiful orange hair, and such fiery brown eyes... he didn't think about why she would be in Ichigo's room. He just launched himself at that ample chest.

"GOD, Kon! Stop!" That voice was sharp, but still feminine. However he did pause as a fist sent him slamming into the closet. There was something underlying the voice that made it almost familiar.

He poked his furry head back out of the closet and looked at his ''perfect'' girl more closely. He once more took in the hard brown eyes. He mentally cut off about a foot and a half of the hair. And he froze. Man the face up a bit and it was...

"I...chi...go?"

Ichigo glared at him. "Yes, idiot!"

Kon fell out of the closet. "Ehhhh?"

There was a tap at the window, and Ichigo glanced up. Purple-black eyes looked through shaggy hair. Rukia.

"What?"

"Urahara says he thinks he has the cure."

Ichigo was launching himself to the window, but Rukia landed a blunt kick to his face. "NO! You can't go out like that!"

"Why not?"

"Ichigo... you're wearing a white tank-top."

"And?"

"... Look in the mirror."

He grumbled and stomped towards the mirror on the wall. Then he spun around, turning scarlet. "Eh... what... what do I wear?"

Rukia sighed.

_ Isshin's Car_

"So you think Ichi-nii has a girlfriend now, Karin-chan?" Yuzu asked, wide-eyed.

"MY SON!" Isshin bellowed, and Karin pulled off her sneaker and slammed it on the side of his head.

"Yeah, Yuzu. I think he does. What did you say she looked like, again?"

"She had really really pretty hair. It was long and bluish-black. She was wearing glasses, too. I think she had blue eyes." She paused, tapping her chin. "That's all I saw, before Ichi-nii told me to get out."

Karin happened to glance out the window and caught sight of white hair. She gasped. Isshin had been taking her to soccer practice, and Yuzu to the mall, so she hurriedly grabbed her bag and got out. She chucked her backpack toward the bleachers and shot over to the short, white-haired form.

"Toshiro?"

The white-haired person had pigtails, and was wearing a skirt. But there was also a tall blonde flitting about in jeans and a loose t-shirt. Was that that bouncy lady he'd been hanging out with? She totally could have forced him into an outfit like that.

However, at the sound of the name the person glanced over it's shoulder, showing cat-like turquoise eyes. Bored expression turned to one of horror and then perfectly melted into a mask. "Who?" said the feminine voice, and long white eyelashes flicked down, brushing pale cheeks.

"You look like a friend of mine, Hitsugaya Toshiro." Karin said warily.

"I don't know who that is, sorry."

"Yeah, sure. You look just like him."

''Toshiro'' turned fully, crossing arms over a chest bigger than Karin's but not womanly. "As you can no doubt see, _I am a girl." _

"You look just like him." Karin protested.

The white-haired girl scoffed, lifting a hand and brushing hair over her shoulder. "Sure. Thanks."

"Sorry, I must be wrong. He was a guy, after all. He'd never..." she trailed off, shrugging. "My bad."

She went back to her practice.

Toshiro's shoulders went slack and he glanced at Matsumoto. She grinned. "Taicho~ you are so cute!"

She threw her arms around him, and he was surprised that he could actually breathe. He pried her arms away from him and rolled his eyes as she played with his hair. She was having way too much fun with this. "That was close." he said gruffly, turning and beginning to walk away. "And leave my hair alone, MATSUMOTO!"

* * *

_**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews, guys! _

Banksy- D_oes this answer your question? Nope, Mod Souls UNaffected. I couldn't pass up the chance to have Kon hit on dear Ichi-kun, could I? And don't worry... I have many plans for those two you speak of(;_

Nai-chan - _Yes, I love you too Twin. Ask, and you shall recieve. Hope you liked._

Maverick14th - _Thank you, and yes... I'm slightly afraid of what would happen. Do you think any of them could stand it? I predict red faces and much stuttering._

TsukiYamazakura - _Eheheheheh... I had forgotten about them. Thank you._

_Also special thank yous to: _

TaiTaiFishie

E. E. Terrill

_And two friends who probably aren't reading this yet, but are amazing for helping me get scenarios. Love to Matty-kun and Krissy-chan._

_Whoa, really long Author's Note? Gomen! _

_Review and my fingers type faster._

_~Love HikaKiti_


	6. Chapter 6

C**hapter Six**

Yoruichi's bare foot collided with Urahara's ribs and he yelled. This hurt surprisingly worse that it had when he was a man. He jerked his head off the desk and met a smiling face with bright yellow eyes.

"Yoruichi..." he groaned, rubbing his side.

"You'd better wake up, Kisuke. They're almost here." She said smoothly, and he felt that she was not sorry at all for nearly breaking his ribs.

The shinigami nearly broke down his door, bursting into the room. Most looked relieved at the prospect of getting their bodies back, but Yumichika was being carried over Ikkaku's shoulder, looking put-out.

Soi Fon was in the lead, Byakuya and Kenpachi at her heels. Urahara backed up as they crowded him and raised his free hand. The shouts and demands died down. "Eh heh heh! Okey-doeky! Not sure if this'll work, ladies and gentlemen, but you all want to try now, right? You've rushed my perfection, so this is really not a sure-fire cure. Soi Fon, why don't you go first?"

Soi Fon looked delighted at the prospect of being the first back in her original body. She quickly stepped forward and Urahara tossed her a pill from the bag in his hands.

She gulped it down and waited.

Nothing happened.

There were groans and stomped feet that made the tiny, cramped room sound as though a heard of elephants was running through. Soi Fon glared at Urahara as the latter tugged the hat lower on his face. "Well, guess it doesn't work!"

Soi Fon scoffed, and Kenpachi looked ready to attack.

Everyone turned and squeezed out of the room, heads lowered or arms crossed. The last in the room emitted a chill colder than anything Toshiro could cook up.

The one in lead was well-built and tall, with shaggy black hair and strong arms. Black eyes, or near black, were closed in a smile. The smile itself made Urahara's heart stop and he backed up into Yoruichi, who looked uncomfortable.

The one behind ''him'' was also male, with neatly cut hair of the same color and purple-black eyes behind razor glasses. A clipboard was held in his smooth-muscled arms.

"Eh... U-Unohana-taicho. N-nanao-fukutaicho..." Urahara stuttered.

"Kisuke-kun..." Unohana started, still smiling. "Is there anything I can... help with?"

"E-eh... n-no."

"I hope to see this fixed soon. I'm completely off my schedule. And my captain is enjoying this too much." Nanao said coldly.

The two women/men turned on their heel and stalked away.

_The Kurosaki Household_

"Whatever, then. You guys can watch T.V. I'm going to take a nap." Ichigo grumbled. He was annoyed and moody that he was 1). In a _black skirt. _20. Wearing a... _bra. _3). STILL A GIRL. And 4). H_aving. Back. Pain._

He stripped off his socks and dove into bed, tossing Kon out the window. He rolled onto his side and snuggled deeper, his cheek on his arm and thin ankles crossed. He managed a doze, and blinked open eyes to sideways buildings.

"_Crap." _he groaned outloud.

"Crap? CRAP? What the hell do you mean? Look at me!"

Ichigo spun around in horror and met black and yellow eyes. Usually the black and yellow eyes were the sign of his anger and fear, but today they almost made him laugh, framed as they were by thick white lashes.

He backed up and took in his inner hollow. Hollow was being tortured just as bad as Ichigo. Long, snow-white hair fell in spiky lengths down a back and over slender shoulders. The giant blade thrown across his form looked even bigger than usual.

"Please don't tell me Zangetsu-jii-san is like that..." was Ichigo's only reply.

"Zangetsu? YOU IDIOT! Who the hell cares about him? I want _us _fixed – screw him!"

"Ichigo."

Ichigo whirled again and paled to almost as much as the other. If he had thought the Hollow him looked bad, or that the womanly Kenpachi who'd tried to kill him... again... had looked bad... Oh Zangetsu.

His chest was even bigger than Ichigo's, and his hair, already long before, was now to his wrists when his hands were at his sides. His hips were wide and his body curved. He stared at Ichigo.

"I think I'm gonna wake up now."

Zangetsu leaned forward. "Fix this..." he said. It was simple, and sharp. Ichigo woke up with the threats of his hollow ringing in his head.

He sat up. No more naps.

_**A/N: **Thank you, peeps, for all the reviews!_

TsukiYamazakura - _Thank you - and there you are! Hope it's as you expected._

Banksy- _I'm beginning to really like you. Thank you! (:_

Crystal_ - Don't worry, I remembered him, just... thinking of a way to bring him in. He isn't one of my favorite characters, so we'll see how that works out. _

Ermilus - _Holy. Hueco. Mundo. THANK YOU. THAT IS BRILLIANT! I've been thinking I was forgetting someone important. And they're some of my favorites! Shame on HikaKiti! SHAME! *goes to slam head against wall and comes back dazed* Expect them soon._

_And a big thank you too all of these peoples:_

RedRumYaoi

TaiTaiFishie

Qwerty321

_Reviews are love, so if you love me... MWAH~ Review!_

_HikaKiti(:_

_PS: My Quincy... Ishida-kun... _

_Am I the only one feeling awkward that the guy I totally love is a girl?_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: **Okay, so this is not only late, but in my opinion I don't think its a very good chapter. Sorry, guys. I'm not really in a humor-writing mood at the moment, seeing as I'm moving and have to leave not only my bestestest friends, but my godsister and my twin (who isn't really related by blood, but shh!) _

_So, anyways, hope this isn't TOO bad. It's short. More coming, and it'll be better, PROMISE!_

**Chapter Seven**

_Ice Cream Parlor_

"Got any sixes, Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked, leaning forward with Yachiru on his shoulders. The pink-haired ''boy'' was licking an ice cream cone three scoops tall and coated with chocolate and sprinkles. Ikkaku had a horrible feeling that he was about to have either her drool or melted treat dripping down his neck.

"No, go fish." Yumichika said, obviously bored.

The two, and Yachiru, and been playing Go Fish for the last half hour due to the tiny lieutenant's request. Not only was it getting old now, but Yumichika was demanding they go somewhere, do something, because he was extremely set on displaying his ''even greater beauty'' to the rest of Karakura.

Ikkaku swiped his tongue across the spoon of the ice-cream sundae and pulled a card, just as the door swung open and a pair of people walked in.

He wouldn't have even looked up hadn't he felt the enormous spirit pressure being repressed. The two were angrily sweeping sharp eyes flickering with black around the parlor. Ikkaku sensed an opportunity for a good fight and went to rise, ignoring the look Yumichika gave him that they weren't supposed to get into any fights.

"Oi, who're you?" He called to the couple.

The shorter of the two was a boy with bright green hair and warm, excited brown eyes. He was dressed weird, in a white bodysuit and orange gloves. There was a bright scarf of the same color looped around his neck and a pair of seemingly useless goggles on his head. He turned with a huge smile and bounce. "My name is-"

"Mashiro, he isn't here. Lets go." the tall, white-haired woman turned for the door, ignoring Ikkaku completely. She had piercings all over her left ear and on her eyebrow.

"But Kenseiiiiii~" the smaller whined, and Ikkaku blinked in shock.

"You're two of those masked- damn, guess I won't fight ya then." Ikkaku realized who they were and backed up. "Wait, so you were affected-"

"Yeah, and we're looking for Urahara. Shinji – that idiot – said he might be here. Apparently he's not."

"He's at the shop. Fixin' this crap." Ikkaku said over his shoulder as he returned to his game.

"Good, 'cause I miss my-" Mashiro began, loudly.

Kensei hurriedly slipped his hand over her mouth. "Shh, I told you not to yell things like that."

"Right." Mashiro gave a happy thumbs up and Yachiru, pulling the sticky fingers from her mouth as she finished her ice cream cone and looked down at the two. Well, down at Mashiro. She was about level with Kensei.

"Hi!" she said brightly, grinning and showing teeth that were stained with chocolate, as was the rest of her mouth. Ikkaku sighed and reached up with the overlong sleeve of the shirt Yumichika had forced him to buy because it ''brought out his eyes''.

"Heyyyy!" Mashiro squealed.

Ikkaku thought this would be a very long day indeed.

_ Busy Street_

"It's not like yer missin' much, Hiyori..." Shinji teased, walking beside the shorter with his hands in his pockets and his characteristic grin lighting up his face. Hiyori's muscles tensed beside him and she swung a foot towards his face, cheeks flaring red. He quickly grabbed her ankle. "No, Hiyori, don't hit me! I'm a lady now, member?"

Hiyori snorted and spun, swinging the other leg. She was still wearing her usual red uniform, but her hair was no way to short to be put in pigtails. Shinji's had grown back out into the length it had been when he was a captain, and he had more bounce than any vizard had had ever.

Shinji caught that foot too and she dangled upside down, automatically holding her shirt from habit. Hiyori grumbled more angry mutters under her breath and he let her fall, earning a shocked glance from a passing woman.

"Miss! Is that your son?"

"This squirt? 'Course not, miss!" Shinji saw a golden opportunity and snatched it. "This guy is my boyfriend!"

Hiyori let out a sound between a choke, a squeak, and a protest, but Shinij was already hugging her.

"Your..." The woman stepped past. "Oh."

Shinji broke out in laughter and let a flaming red Hiyori go, collasping against the wall. "Ah, Hiyori, yer too fun ta mess with!"

"Shut up!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Chad woke up very late, seeing as it was just past noon. The reason he'd slept in so long was because of his late night the day before, where he'd gone to see a movie with some of his friends and didn't get home until about midnight. Still, he was way behind schedule. He sat up in his bed and groaned at the odd feeling all over his body. His pants felt too loose and his shirt way too tight. He glanced down at his mouth fell open.

Still, Chad, silent as ever, said nothing. He merely stood up and reached for his phone, all the while turning bright red under his tan skin.

"_You've reached the Urahara Shop. Sorry, no one's here! Call back later, bye bye!"_

Chad snapped the phone shut and reached for a new shirt, seeing as two buttons had come off during his sleep. It was alright though, Ishida would fix it if asked nicely. And maybe the Quincy could help with this problem. After all, not _everyone _could be affected, right?

_The Mall_

"Ehh? How does this even work?" Shinji asked, holding the lacy pink object in his hands and tilting it to the side. Hiyori, still latched to his side, went scarlet.

"You idiot! Perv! Freak! Let me go!" she demanded, already twisting to reach for her sandle.

"Don't be mean!"

"Mean? You dragged me to this- this... THIS!" Hiyori snarled. "Victoria's Secret! Lemme go!"

"Sorry, Hiyori..." Shinji looked sad, sliding his hands away.

Hiyori crossed her arms over her chest angrily, reaching a hand up to tug on a ponytail that wasn't there. She turned angry again. "Can we get outta here? There's a barbecue joint somewhere in this stupid mall."

Shinji brightened and tossed the object- a frilly, strapless object – over his shoulder. "Sure!"

They headed out, Hiyori casting dark glances over her shoulder and tensing every so often as though she was readying herself for a fight.

_Ishida's Apartment_

Ishida had decided to stay inside for as long as it took for this accident to wear off. He'd already sewn himself a proper outfit and was wearing it now as he cleaned the kitchen.

_**Ding Dong**_

Ishida looked up worriedly. He didn't want anyone else to see him in this way. Then he relaxed. If someone was ringing his bell, it was either Sado or Inoue. He didn't need to worry about them.

He hurried to the door and opened it, and was faced with a tall, Mexican woman. Long black hair fell in messy, tangled curls, and her dark skin was stretched over well-toned muscles. She wore a pink tank-top that looked familiar, as well as a pair of neat white jeans that were much to large. It clicked in Uryu's head much faster than it did for Chad, who was faced with a beautiful blue-black haired girl with feminine curves and a huge chest, wearing a familiarly designed dress cut four inches above thin knees.

"Is Ishida Uryu home?" Chad asked quietly.

Ishida blinked out of his shock and looked up. "Eh?"

"Ishida... Uryu..."

"Sado-san, it's me." Ishida said calmly, though his left eyebrow twitched.

Chad was silent, and his eyes widened to the size of the tea cup saucers Ishida had been setting in the sink. Finally he spoke. "What's... going on?"

"Urahara-san's expirament broke. We're all like this. Kurosaki-san, Inoue-san, and all the people from Soul Society."

Chad closed his eyes. "I came because of my shirt. The buttons came off..."

Ishida's form tensed. He'd thought it had been a well-known fact that he _hated _buttons. _With a passion. _But, cool and collected as ever, he took the shirt.

And promptly threw it in the trash.

"I'll make something better suited for this form." He said coldly, then relaxed, pulling out his thread and needle.

Chad blinked. "Did you just-"

Ishida turned pink. "It won't fit in my pockets anymore. Don't say anything."

Chad decided not to comment, even if Ishida _had_ just pulled his sewing kit from inside the top of his dress, right out of his bra.

_Carnival_

"How did you even know this was here?" Renji asked curiously, looking around. The salty tang of popcorn butter and sweet aroma of sugary cotton candy was enough to make his mouth water. He brushed the annoyingly long bangs out of his face and licked his lips.

Rukia looked back happily. "I saw it on the internet!" she said. "What should we ride first?"

"Let's hit a roller-coaster." Renji decided, starting towards it. They stopped outside the stand and went to buy tickets.

"Two, please." Renji said, leaning over as he usually would and holding out the money.

The teenaged guy running the stand turned around from where he'd been sitting and his eyes almost bugged out of his head. "E-eh!" he chocked on his water and Renji stared, confused.

Rukia came up behind him. "What's going on?"

Renji shrugged and shook his money in the man's face. "Hello? Tickets, please."

The guy shook his head, flushing scarlet as Renji's hair. He took only one of the bills in Renji's outstretched hand, eyes straying. He went darker red. "For you, no charge, miss. You're... very..." he stuttered out something that Renji didn't catch.

"Eh?" Renji leaned forward, hoping to catch what the boy had been trying to say. The boy looked almost purple.

"You're totally hot, miss! I'm not charging ticket money to someone with a body like yours!"

Renji jerked back as though slapped and Rukia hit the ground with laughter.

"Thanks." Renji shrugged, turning around. He grabbed Rukia by the back of her collar – noticing she was wearing one of his old shirts and that it was much too big for her – and began to drag her off.

She looked up, wiping tears from her huge gray eyes as he dropped her in the seat beside his in the very last car. She grinned. "Hot? And you just go with it?"

"What can I say? I'm hot either way."

"Don't flatter yourself, Renji."

"Shut up and scream, Rukia, it's starting."

"That's impossible you can't shut- AHHH!" They hit the hill and shot downward, Renji laughing and Rukia shouting happily, the tears now running back into her shaggy black hair.

* * *

_**A/N: **Okay, this'll be the last update this week and maybe next because we'll be heading for our new house and stuff and I probably won't have internet. However, when I finally DO get internet I'll probably post a pretty long chapter seeing as I have a thirteen and a half hour drive ahead of me tomorrow._

Trappy-chan - _Thanks as always, love you Twin. I thought so too. I hope you don't think I need to be reminded, I think we were both cry-laughing reading that and looking up all those pictures for inspiration. Daddy said he heard us... ^~^_

Ermilus - _Thank you, really. You made me smile(: Glad you enjoyed the vizard and thanks for cheering me up the Chad way! _

KurosakiCrystal18 - _Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it!_

Rawr- _Hopefully I'll put in that interaction. I can only imagine how adorable of an encounter that would be, not to mention AWKWARD. So yeah, good plan._

code ninjahinja - _First off, love your picture. ADORABLE! And thank you, glad you think its funny(:_

Amateur SoulReaper - _Thank you, I didn't think last chapter was so good, but glad you did. And I hope this was soon enough for you._

OokaMikage14- _Thank you, and I'm very very happy I'm not alone with the boy/girl thing. And I was CERTAINLY thinking about bringing that gang in, just debating on the absolute best possible way to do it. So yup! Thankies!_

_And thanks to everyone else who might be reading~ Love love to all(:_

_~HikaKiti (Who is very much exhausted from loading boxes, and then scrubbing the house from ceiling to floor.)_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: **I got internet faster than I thought! Heh heh... just don't ask where I'm getting it from, cause I honestly have no idea! Anyways, here's a chapter. Not as long as I would have liked, its only just over a thousand words... but hope you enjoy it anyways._

**Chapter Nine**

_Pet Store_

"Oooooh! Can we buy him? Please? Please? Please?" Mashiro pressed her face to the glass, nose-to-nose with a fluffy black Labrador. "I could call him-"

"Buying a puppy for your girlfriend, sir?" a woman came up, tucking black hair back out of her face and speaking directly to Mashiro. The girl-turned-guy didn't even look up, not noticing the woman.

"Actually, we aren't-" Kensei began, and the woman spun around flashing a grin.

"You aren't together? Oh..."

She turned back to the green-haired vizard. "So... whose this puppy for? You don't have a girlfriend? How's that? Someone with looks like yours..." she smiled. Mashiro glanced up, blinking and turned her huge brown eyes on the lady, looking confused.

Kensei's eyebrows rose and he crossed his arms over his ample chest. "Come to think of it, Mashiro, Lisa and the others are waiting. You know how Hiyori hates to wait."

"So we can't get the puppy?" Mashiro looked up at him, eyes growing huge. Kensei was glad it wasn't as persuasive without the huge eyelashes and cheerful, girly face. He wouldn't have been able to say no, otherwise.

"No, Mashiro. Come on." he turned around, and Mashiro looked put-out.

"Kensei~~~~" He turned back and saw tears welling in her eyes. "I named him!"

Kensei glanced towards the door, then back at the firmly set girl. He sighed. Somehow, even as a boy, she was able to make him do whatever she asked. "Fine. But you have to take care of it."

"Ya~y!"

_ Ishida's Apartment_

"Here, Sado-san." Ishida handed him a shirt. It was of the same cut as the one thrown away, except that it had been removed of all buttons. Those demonic devices could stay in the trash.

"E-eh. Th-thanks, Ishida." Chad said awkwardly, choosing not to comment about the carefully stitched cross on the collar.

"Mhmm."

Chad headed for the door, ready to escape back to his own apartment so he could burn away the images of pretty, feminine Ishida leaning over a table and working on creating him a shirt. In all, it had taken five minutes, including the time it took for him to find the fabric and materials needed.

Ishida was suddenly in front of him though, hands resting on wide hips in the doorway. "You're leaving?"

"Yes..." Chad said.

"You're going out there... like that?" Ishida shifted to his left foot.

"Yes."

"But... we're girls."

"Yes..."

"And you don't mind?"

"Not really..."

"Well... alright then."

Chad brushed past the confused looking Quincy and headed for his apartment, shaking his head. Dark curls bounced around his shoulders. He glanced back to see Ishida warily stepping outside, as if expecting to be mobbed by someone.

Chad turned around and kept walking.

_The Mall_

_ "_How do I look in this, Taicho?" Matsumoto stepped out of the dressing room in the fifth outfit in as many minutes. This one was dark washed jeans and a black t-shirt with stitched red hearts, and a pressed gray jacket.

"The same way you looked in the last four. Where are you getting the money for this, Matsumoto?" Toshiro growled from where he was sitting, arms crossed over his chest, in a hard plastic chair. He'd torn out his pigtails, finally, tired of the strain they were putting on his head. His tight teal shirt with the white dragon curling along one side was actually pretty cool, suiting him just fine, but the white skirt had also gone, being replaced – by Matsumoto's insist – black skinny jeans.

Now he was forced to sit there as Matsumoto got weird looks from everyone in the store.

"Well... I might have taken a little bit from the Squad paycheck..." Matsumoto was saying, backing into the dressing room.

"YOU'VE DONE WHAT?" Toshiro shot to his feet, face flushing red with anger.

"It was only... a little..." Matsumoto whimpered.

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Toshiro? Hitsugaya-kun!" the cheery, feminine voice was mistaken for a minute as someone else, and previously named captain's eyes widened. They narrowed as snowy white hair became visible.

"Hello, Ukitake-taicho." Matsumoto greeted, leaping out of the closet and seizing her chance at a rescue. Toshiro shot her a look that clearly said- I'll deal with this later.

Ukitake was holding three bags and ran forward, a sight Toshiro was used to with Matsumoto as a lieutenant. Following behind him was a slightly stumbling Shunsui, and even from here Hitsugaya recognized the smell of sake.

"Oh please no." he breathed as Ukitake finally reached him and threw arms around his neck. If there was one thing he'd actually enjoyed about this mess it was the ability to breath and not be smothered by Matsumoto when she hugged/came up behind him. Well, there went that bonus.

Three lollypops were shoveled into his arms before he'd even blinked and he sighed again.

"Shiro-chan to Shiro-chan!" Ukitake grinned, clapping his hands. Shunsui leaned on his best friend, finally catching up, and hiccuped.

A group of guys passed by, eyes huge as they glanced over towards the group. They nudged each other, did the signature head jerk that was supposed to be subtle but was only about a tenth less obvious than pointing. They tried to appear nonchalant as they meandered closer to the three captains and the lieutenant.

Ukitake and Shunsui glanced at the boys and their shoulders fell slightly, as if they were accepting that they were about to be hit on.

The boys, however, weren't even looking at the two captains. One of the two was looking at Toshiro, and the other...

And prepare for a twist here...

The other was grinning shyly at Matsumoto.

_The Carnival_

"Ichigo! Win me that rabbit!" Rukia demanded, pointing to the fluffy pink stuffed toy dangling on the stand.

Ichigo had shown up only about ten minutes ago, and already the short black-haired girl/guy was demanding things. He rolled his eyes.

"Ichigo? Please, he couldn't hit that bottle if it was right in front of his face. I'll do it." Renji snorted, reaching for the ball.

"I can do it!" Ichigo growled, snatching the ball. Renji rolled his eyes.

"Can't." And reached for it.

"CAN!"

"Can't!"

"Will someone please just win me the bunny?" Rukia squeaked, crushed between the two and turning steadily scarlet as her head was bumped with – well, you get the idea.

"I will!" Renji declared, finally grabbing the ball. He threw it and it missed by about a foot, the bottle not even wobbling.

Ichigo grinned, "HA!" and snatched up a ball further away. He chucked it as well, and missed by about the same length as Renji on the opposite side. He scowled.

Rukia crossed her arms over her chest and mimicked Ichigo without meaning too, her eyebrows jerking down in a matching scowl.

A girl walking by saw the scene and must have understood, because she flipped her sporty ponytail and bounced over, eyelashes fluttering. She leaned over purposefully and grabbed a ball, tossing it with the skill of a softball player. The bottle toppled. The man running the stand handed Rukia the rabbit and the girl grinned.

Rukia, oblivious as to the purpose of the girl's actions, smiled back. "Thank you."

The girl fluttered her eyelashes. "No problem. So, you wanna buy a cotton candy or something?" she asked sweetly.

Ichigo and Renji flared up. "She's our friend, back off." Renji snapped.

The girl shot him a slightly confused, slightly angered look. "Um, I was talking to this guy here..."

Understanding dawned in Rukia's huge gray eyes and she took a step back, turning red again. "Um."

"_He's with us." _Renji and Ichigo said together.

"Fine, fine. Whatever." she stalked away.

Rukia chuckled, her voice deep. Renji and Ichigo glared over their shoulders at her, and she smirked at them. "So, which one of you is gonna buy me a cotton candy now?"

For some reason, neither volunteered.

_ Picnic Grounds_

"I love the smell of barbecue!" Kira exclaimed, a smile lighting his totally emo-girl face. His visible blue eye brightened.

"Where do you wanna sit?" Hisagi asked, pushing the headband onto his head to hold back his hair and shifting the basket to his other hand.

"Over there? By the lake?" Kira pointed. "It's quieter over there."

"Whatever. Let's go." Hisagi led the way through the long grass to the sandy shore and pulled out a classic checkered blanket, handing it to Kira to spread out on the ground. They both stood there awkwardly, trying to figure out a way to sit down without flashing everyone around them, since they both were wearing fluttery short skirts. Hitsugaya-taicho was not the only one to be ambushed by Matsumoto's fashion advice.

"Oh forget it." Hisagi rolled his eyes and dropped down, lounging comfortably as he pulled the basket to him. Kira sat down, looking almost like a child with his hands pressing his skirt down and his legs straight out. His hair was tied in a high ponytail, just like Hisagi's, but his trademark bangs still hung over his eye.

Hisagi and Kira tore open a bag of chips and munched on cheese and turkey sandwiches. They drank sodas. Finished with the food, Hisagi shot his best friend a sly grin and pulled out a familiar gourd-shaped bottle.

"Sake?" Kira's eye lit up again, he sat a little straighter. Hisagi's grin widened and he pulled the stopper, tilting his head back as he took two large gulps.

Kira held out a slender hand and took it as it was passed, copying Hisagi's actions. They passed it back and forth until it was finished and both had slightly pink tinges to their girly cheeks. Hisagi dug in the basket and pulled out another bottle. By the time they finished this one both shinigami were swaying, giggling, and had bright red spots on their cheeks.

Leave it to them to pass out on the shore of a lake, Hisagi on his back with his heels in the water and Kira's face buried in his stomach with the rest of him lying in the sand.

And leave it to Kensei to find them.

_**A/N: **And thank you, by the way, for all the reviews so far! Keep it coming, and I'll do the same with this story! Love~ HikaKiti(:_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

_Just outside the mall._

"Matsumoto, I get it, let it go." Toshiro ordered as they walked out of the mall. His lieutenant snorted with laughter and ignored him completely.

"I can't believe it! Even as a man – I get guys!" she laughed again, and a vein throbbed in Toshiro's forehead. "I'm so irresistible!"

"Matsumoto! Shut up!" he snapped, and she grinned.

"You've no reason to be upset! That other guy was totally into you, taicho!"

Toshiro paled. "SHUT UP, Captain's orders!"

Matsumoto looked rebellious, but said nothing else. She just continued to giggle. Toshiro debated on whether or not to lecture her, and was about to, when he saw Orihime. She was walking in a group of four, with two girls and one other guy, and one of the guys was shrieking about...

Matsumoto nearly fell over with laughter, grabbing onto her shorter captain's shoulders as she leaned on him. "Taicho~"

_Same place, other side of the street_

"AND THEY'RE SO HEAVY!" the brunette girl with the loud, obnoxious voice was saying.

"Asano-san... you shouldn't talk about your chest so loudly! Or in public!" Orihime was whimpering.

"But they're almost as big as yours were!"

A familiar black-haired girl saved her, stopping in front of Keigo. She'd just come out of seemingly no where, and Orihime at first didn't recognize her. Then she saw the rimless glasses and the bag from _Sewing Inc. _thrown over one slender arm. "Asano-san. You are bothering Miss Inoue."

Keigo looked confused. "Who are you? You look familiar..."

Ishida didn't dignify him with an answer. "By my pride, I cannot allow you to make Inoue-san feel uncomfortable."

Keigo's confusion cleared. "Ishida! So you got some boobs too!"

Ishida turned red and began stuttering, choking on his words. The black-haired boy of the group grabbed Orihime's hand.

"Come on, Hime. Let's get out before they start talking about how loose their pants feel."

"Tatsuki-chan~" Orihime looked shocked as she was dragged away.

Mizuiro just chuckled to himself and pulled out his phone to film as Ishida chopped down angrily on Keigo's head.

_Carnival_

"I gotta pee." Renji annouced, setting down his soda on the table. It was his fourth, and his third bag of cotton candy.

Rukia looked up from her popcorn and licked her fingers clean of all butter. "The bathrooms were over there." she waved a hand to the left and Renji nodded.

"I know where they are. I was just telling you."

Rukia rolled her eyes and dove back into the bag. Renji stood, and Ichigo climbed to his feet as well. Rukia looked up.

"I have to go too. Just didn't wanna announce it." He shrugged and walked off. Renji and Rukia snorted.

"Go on, I'll drink your coke." Rukia said with a grin, already reaching for it. Hers had been finished.

Renji picked the Styrofoam cup up and downed it, grinning cheekily as he strolled off.

He caught up to Ichigo and they headed for the bathroom, pushing open the door and walking in. They headed for the urinals, hanging on the wall.

A man turned around, turned beat red, and grabbed his nose as blood leaked down his face. Renji and Ichigo glanced at each other.

Then they both froze. "Aw, crap." Ichigo hissed.

Renji looked up to the ceiling , cursing his mouth off, and turned, running for the exit. He bumped full-body into three more men, then finally made it outside.

Ichigo was right behind him.

They looked at each other. "Oops." Renji grinned.

Then they burst out laughing, because the looks on those guys faces couldn't be bought.

_Urahara Shop_

"Yoruichi..." Urahara whined, leaning back until he was flat on his back, staring up the the smooth roof. He grimaced – he needed to clean that later.

"Kisuke." she said back, calm as ever. He turned wide eyes on her, lip out in a pout. "No, don't you give me that face. Come on, finish the cure. Don't you want to be back in your body?"

"I'm tired~" he sighed. "It can wait a day, can't it? Just so I can get a little sleep?"

"No." Yoruichi crouched beside him,

"Awww~ Yoruichi. Why not?" Urahara met her yellow eyes pleadingly.

"Let me put it to you this way, Kisuke. Don't you want _me _back in my body?" she purred, almost like the cat she turned into, and tilted her head to the side, giving a closed-eyed smile.

Urahara sat up, suddenly awake. "Well put it like that..."

Yoruichi grinned and stood, dropping back into her chair behind her friend. He leaned over, started measuring and checking the chemicals. He glanced back at her. She smiled and he grinned back, looking a bit like a little kid.

She took off his hat with her toes, easier to do now since it was perched on his ponytail. "Good boy, Kisuke." she laughed as his hands moved faster.

_**A/N:**_

_Okay, sorry. I wanted to do somthing big and amazing and totally awesome in the chapter, since we made it to ten, but I couldn't think of anything... don't hate me!_

_Also, this fic is coming to an end soon, I think. Just not really liking it as much as I did. Tired of it, I suppose. _

_What I need, really really bad, is for you guys to answer these questions:_

_1. What couples should I put in it? Or should I?_

_2. Does Kensei know Hisagi well enough to recognize him as a girl?_

_3. What should I paint on my finger and toenails? I had UsUk on my toes, but its all rubbed off now. And my fingers were gone as soon as we started moving boxes._

_Sorry about the last question... I'm just curious as to your thoughts (: Heehee..._

_Anyways - _

_Love love~ HikaKiti_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: **Sorry this took so long. I had to force myself back into a Bleach-y mood. I just finished watching Soul Eater, so maybe these updates will be a little quicker._

_Maybe._

_But anyways, here's a chapter. I like some of it, dislike the rest. I'm sorry if anyone is out of character, I tried to keep them IC. Well, anyways, enjoy!_

**Chapter Eleven**

_Picnic Area, down by the lake_

Hisagi was jolted out of sleep by fingers grabbing his shoulder – which was bare, another of Rangiku's fashion choices. He jerked upright, his head slamming into someone elses and Kira's head sliding from his stomach to his lap. Even without the pain added from bumping heads with the ''stranger'' he would have clutched at his head, because there was a throbbing pain bouncing through that made his eyes water.

Kira sat up moaning and rubbing his temples. "What's going on...?"

Hisagi, still holding his head, looked up into narrowed purple-blue eyes. "If I get a bruise and mar this beautiful face, I'll find you and kill you."

"Yumichika? What the heck do you want?" Hisagi sighed, narrowing his eyes to try and reduce the amount of light.

Yumichika sniffed and sat back. "You're passed out in the middle of a park, Hisagi-san. Yachiru was going to wake you up, but she ran off when she saw a balloon vender. Ikkaku went with her." he looked up. "Oh, here they come."

Kira had groaned and fallen back onto Hisagi's lap, sleeping again.

Hisagi, however, was gaping at the white-haired woman walking towards him, with the black lines just visible on her chest from the low-cut shirt. The earrings, the eyes... could it be...?

"Kensei! Look at her face!" a green-haired boy bounced beside the man, further adding to the image that was slowly adding up in Hisagi's mind. The name clicked it all together.

"You!" Hisagi's eyes went wide.

_Movie Theater_

"Hiyori~" Shinji whined, and Hiyori moved over as far as the seat would allow her too.

"You shoulda bought you're own, Shinji!" she snapped as he continued to reach for the bucket in her hands.

"I don't have any money!" he mumbled, stretching.

"Get your boobs out of my face!" Hiyori hissed.

"SHHH!" two members of the audience hushed them.

It was Couples Night at the Karakura Theater, meaning any couple who bought a movie ticket received a free large popcorn and a slushie. Granted, Hiyori didn't know that. She probably thought she'd been given the popcorn because she intimidated the man, or something stupid. Shinji, however, had seen the sign.

Well, if he'd been wanting it to be a secret, it was too late now. A man had just picked up the microphone in the front of the theater. "Welcome to Couples Night! Everyone enjoying their free popcorn?"

"No." Shinji growled, while everyone else cheered. Hiyori stuck out her tongue, but it seemed to register in her head what the man had said. Shock and horror registered in her eyes.

"Couples-" she began, and the man on stage continued.

"Let's begin the feature presentation!"

Hiyori and Shinji had sat in the very back for a reason. Could they not go two minutes without fighting?

They could on Couples Night, when Hiyori gave up the popcorn to sit there and yell angry cuss words and threats at Shinji in a whisper. Shinji grinned and munched a handful of buttery goodness. "Love ya too, Hiyori." he said teasingly, watching her turn pink.

_Ichigo's Room_

"It's nine. Nine o'clock a night. And I'm still a freaking chick." Renji groaned, sitting on the floor in front of Ichigo's closet. Rukia put her feet on his head, the static in her socks making his hair go fuzzy. He glared up at her toes and she laughed.

"Don't complain. At least you don't have as much to carry around as me." Ichigo snapped, sitting cross-legged on his bed.

Renji's smile as he pulled Rukia out of the closet and hit her on the head turned snapped to a perfect poker face – one Byakuya would be proud of. He turned yellow-brown eyes on Ichigo. "Huh?"

Ichigo looked at him. "You heard me, I've got more, and it's worse." he said, falling back so he could lie on his back. Renji let go of Rukia's hair and saw a giggle flit across her face.

"There's no way you've got more than me." Renji snapped.

"Except that I do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"You so don't!" Renji shouted, leaping onto the bed to strangle him. Ichigo shot up and jumped off, grinning at the beginnings of a fight.

They ran around the room. Kon, finally climbing back in the window, fell back again with a nosebleed as Ichigo caught Renji and knocked him into a wall.

Rukia had by now climbed onto the bed and was laughing. "Girls!" she shouted, and Ichigo and Renji froze, chests pressed against each other as they strangled each other. Rukia grinned. "You're both pretty, now calm down."

So they turned and attacked her.

_The Kurosaki Living Room_

Yuzu, sitting on the couch beside her twin sister, looked up at all the sudden thumping, as if someone was running around. "What do you think Ichi-nii is doing?" she asked, pausing the movie.

Karin, a bookmark poking out of the left side of her mouth as she scanned the pages, looked at her sister. "What?"

"All that noise."

"I don't know, why don't you go ask him?" Karin shrugged, turning back to the story in her hands.

Yuzu shook her head. "Uh-uh, Karin-chan. He's been weird lately."

"You mean with all the girls? He's almost an adult, Yuzu. Can't blame him for bringing them home." Karin said, shrugging again as she read.

"But..." Yuzu let the word hang, not knowing what else to say.

"I just wanna know which one is his girlfriend. I've seen like, ten in there. My favorite's the red head with all the tattoos. I think she'd weird." Karin added, looking up with a laugh.

"But what''s he doing now, Karin-chan?" Yuzu tried again as the banging started up again.

"I told you I don't know!"

"Oh yeah. Sorry."

"RENJI!" a deep voice called, and Karin looked at her sister.

"Who's Renji?" she asked.

"I don't know, but apparently Ichi-nii is mad at him." Yuzu shrugged.

_Urahara Shop_

"That's it! I've done it!" Urahara yelled, making Yoruichi's nap end abruptly. She uncurled and sat up, yawning.

"Wha?" she stretched and shivered, then blinked. "Wait what? You did it, Kisuke?"

Urahara looked at her, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. "E-eh... I figured out how to... use the new microwave."

Yoruichi's yellow eyes narrowed. "What."

"You can't expect me to starve while-"

"Kisuke, you're supposed to be a genius and you couldn't figure out the microwave?" Yoruichi laughed, pushing out her legs and standing up. "Enough of that, though. How's the cure for this gender bending thing going?"

"I'm almost finished, for sure this time. I've figured out a way to break down the genetic code of everyone and -"

"So, almost finished, eh?" Yoruichi interrupted, but smiled to know she wasn't angry. Kisuke went on rambles sometimes. He needed to be reminded he wasn't speaking normal languages when he got into his science role.

Urahara grinned. "Yes, Yoruichi-san." he smiled. He'd found his usual clogs and was now almost like a blonde Kukaku, what with the huge chest covered only by a low-cut green kimono slit up the side to his upper thigh and matching pants. He pulled out a fan, his eyes narrowing as he smiled. "Do I get a reward when I'm done?"

"We'll see if that cake shop is still open, alright?"

He giggled, very very feminine, and rushed back to work. Yoruichi rolled her eyes and went back to her chair to curl up in the sun. At least in this form no one cared if she walked around without a shirt on.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N:** Gomen! Pardon! Sorry! Sorry! Soooooorrrrrryyyy! This is late! Late late late! SO LATE! I haven't updated in forever. I so sorry. Hope this is good. Not as funny as some others, I don't think. But I hope you enjoy it anyways. __The reason for my no-update time was I was completely out of my Bleach mood. I'm still not really IN it. I'm having Avengers withdrawls all over again... anyways, enjoy. Feel free to virtually thump me on the head._

**Chapter Twelve**

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE." Ichigo shouted, looking ready to explode. Renji, fiddling with the strings on his shirt, jumped at his sudden outburst. Rukia dropped her sketchbook and stared at her friend.

"Wha-" Renji began, but Ichigo slammed the window open and stepped out onto the roof, skirt fluttering around his legs in the light breeze.

"I'm going to go see if that idiot is really doing something!" he snarled, bending his knees to jump.

Rukia and Renji glanced at each other, shrugged, and stood up to follow.

They reached the Urahara shop the same time as Byakuya, who looked harassed.

"What happened to you, Taicho?" Renji asked after seeing his annoyed expression.

"Teenage boys are complete fools." Byakuya said shortly. Ichigo looked as if he were debating on whether or not to comment, and decided not to.

They entered together and the first thing they saw was a shirtless man passed out on the couch. Short purple hair was spiked upwards, and they finally realized it was Yoruichi. Renji and Ichigo walked by without a comment, but Rukia glared at Yoruichi enviously as they passed.

"Urahara!" Ichigo called, and a blonde poked her head around the corner, looking surprised.

"Kurosaki-san?" he checked brightly. "Good timing! I need help!"

Ichigo and Renji snorted and followed the busty shopkeeper back into the room. Rukia followed, instantly starting to cough as she caught the smell wafting from the beakers and things. "I need just a couple more things for it to work, I'm sure of it!"

"Well what are they?" Renji demanded, already relishing the idea of being a guy again.

Urahara hesitated. "Here's... a list..." he pulled a roll of paper as thick as his thumb out from his very revealing top and handed it to Ichigo.

The strawberry pulled off the rubber band and the list unrolled slightly. He gaped. Uncurled, it would no doubt hit the floor. Renji growled and tugged a hand through his long red hair.

"Urahara-san... in what world is that a _couple things?" _Renji bellowed.

Everyone flinched as yellow eyes flicked open and an angered look peered through the doorway.

_Picnic Grounds, Down by the Lake_

Kira had never seen Hisagi look like that – like a little boy seeing a ghost. Which was ironic, seeing as they were spirits.

"Kensei-sama!" Hisagi gasped, and Kira understood. He probably should have got it when the little green haired boy giggled the name.

Kensei stared at Hisagi. From his point of view, there was a young woman – maybe nineteen or twenty – staring up at him with wide gray-black eyes. Spiky black hair was pushed back by a thin silver headband, showing a round, eager face with three long scars across her left eye. The right side of the pretty girl's face was marred with a long gray stripe and a big, bold 69. She wore a spaghetti-strap, jet-black tank top hugging her body and a short silver-gray skirt fluttering on her thighs.

Yeah... he was lost.

"Do I know...?" he blinked slowly, trying to remember and failing. Mashiro fixed it.

"Hey Kensei! It's the little boy you saved! Only now its a girl!" she/he said cheerfully.

Hisagi nodded quickly, and the other girl - a blonde - just sat there quietly, feeling slightly out of the loop. Kensei, realizing what his ex-lieutenant was talking about, leaned down. "Oh... now the tattoos make sense."

There was an awkward pause as both men-turned-women stared at each other. Finally, Hisagi blurted - "Thank you, sir."

"It was so long ago I don't think a thank you is worth it." He ruffled Hisagi's hair and stepped back. "Well, come on, Mashiro. Time to go and see if Hiyori killed Shinji yet." He led the way off. Ikkaku and Yumichika had already run off after Yachiru.

Hisagi looked a tiny bit crestfallen, and Kira nudged him gently. Hisagi glanced at his friend and Kira gave a cheery grin, the second that day. Hisagi smiled slightly.

Both of them still had throbbing headaches, and almost as if they could read each others minds they flopped back down with their arms over their eyes, complaining.

_Street Corner_

"Ishida-kun~" Orihime panted. Ishida paused and looked back at her.

"What is it, Inoue-san?" he asked patiently, wondering why she was out of breath.

"Nothing!" she said cheerfully, bouncing upright. Ishida shook his head ever-so-slightly. Even as a man, Orihime was nothing but feminine and giggly. "I just wanted to ask if you knew where Kurosaki-kun was." Ishida's eye twitched, but she seemed not to notice. Then she froze and leaned forward. "Ishida-kun... can I do your hair?"

Ishida, still frowning on her previous question, started at this new question that had come, to him, from no where. "Huh?"

"It's all tangly and messy, Ishida-kun!"

"I don't think 'tangly' is a word, Inoue-san..." Ishida started, but Orihime was ignoring him. She linked her arm through his and very nearly dragged him off his feet. "I-Inoue-san!" he protested, but Orihime didn't stop.

Finally he gave in and followed her, all the way back to her apartment. She sat him in a chair and scampered off down the hallway for her hair things.

_Vizard Hideout_

"Wah~ I apologized already, Hiyori! But don't tell me ya didn't enjoy the popcorn!" Shinji whined, rubbing the growing bump on his head. "And ya aren't supposed ta hit a lady!"

"YOU AREN'T A LADY, YOU IDIOT!" Hiyori snapped, slapping her flip-flop across his face again. "STOP SAYING THAT!"

"Stop hittin' me!" Shinji said finally, catching her wrist. "It hurts a lot more with all a this." he gestured to his body and Hiyori growled in frustration.

"Why'd we have to be the first one back? Now I'm stuck with you, ya perv."

Shinji's idiotic smile returned. "You're the one who ran outta the theater, Hiyori." he said. "I was waiting to see if there was one a tha after-credit thingies."

Hiyori flushed and stormed away, yelling a variety of curses over her shoulder. Shinji plopped onto the couch and flipped upside down, kicking his feet up onto the place where backs are usually supposed to go. It was more comfortable this way, at least.

That is, until his shirt slid up his smooth stomach while he dozed, flashing Kensei as the latter walked into the room.

Mashiro giggled. Kensei said nothing and walked past, double-taking, though, when he saw the long, straight blonde hair.

_Tatsuki's Apartment_

"_Why _are you at _my _house?" the black-haired girl demanded. Although she was now a he.

"Arisawa-san, do you mind if I stay here for a while? My family and girlfriends won't like seeing me like this." Mizuiro turned on his puppy eyes. Not even Tatsuki cold resist that, with his baby-like face and fluffy black hair he looked almost innocent. It didn't help that previously mentioned hair was tied into little puffs of pigtails, or that his already huge gray-black eyes had probably doubled in size.

Tatsuki shifted on her bare feet. "I-"

"ARISAWA~! DON'T YOU JUST LOVE HOW BIG MY-" Keigo was promptly kicked in the face, gaining a bloody lip.

"You can stay, Mizuiro. But Keigo has gotta go."

"I understand. Bye~ Asano-san." Mizuiro waved cutely, looking like a little grumbled and stomped off into her small tidy kitchen, pulling out a bottle of water and chugging it as Keigo wrapped his arms around Mizuiro's leg, begging.

Tatsuki finally gave up. "God! Shut up! You can both stay! But Keigo – one more comment about your boobs and I'll knock all your teeth out and shove 'em up your butt. Go it?"

Keigo nodded fearfully, scampering back like a terrified puppy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

The silver haired man did _not _understand. He was quite positive he'd gone to sleep as a man. He'd done a lot of strange things in his life, seen things normal people wouldn't even imagine... but waking up a woman was not one of them. And it was certainly disturbing and slightly surprising.

He held a hand to his chest, as if checking if they were real. Of course, they were. Unfortunately, that wasn't exactly a comfort. He stood there in his underwear, wondering what the freaking heck was going on, before shrugging, pulling on his usual white robe. It was uncomfortably loose around his waist and legs, so he tied the pale blue sash a bit tighter before pulling on the overcoat.

He stepped out into the hallway and headed for Aizen's ''throne room'', humming as he walked. He paused, smile fading fo a moment. "I wonder if... if Ran-chan is still a... a woman." he trembled at the thought of her _not _being one and then shook it off and regained his mask.

The very thought of a manly Matsumoto was enough to laugh at.

_ Same place, different hallway_

"God, I've got freakin' _boobs. _Imma tear Szayel's throat out!" Grimmjow snarled, kicking the mirror. Glass shattered everywhere, but the blue haired Espada just snorted and stalked into the hall, zipping up the short jacket he wore so he resembled the only – previously only – female arrancar left in Aizen's Top Ten.

He ran slam into a short little girl with long black hair, giving the pipsqueak a face-full of his chest as he did. He went to shove the girl out of his way and noticed how pale the hand was that knocked his out of the way. "Ulquiorra?" he dropped his arm in surprise.

Green eyes as emotionless as always rose up to meet Grimmjow's own blue eyes. The pale face was rounder, more feminine, but the green-black streaks trailing from the emerald eyes were the same. And now Grimmjow could see that the Hollow mask on the side of his head.

"Damn. You too, eh?" Grimmjow smirked.

Ulquiorra didn't even blink, he just turned around and walked away with his usual perfect pace. "Aizen-sama called a meeting. Did you not get the announcement?"

"I got it. I was just a little more worried about the fact that my pants were too loose and my shirt too tight." he snorted, stalking after the stoic little espada. "And Aizen can freaking wait, I'm gonna tear Szayel to pieces and feed him to Yammy."

"Aizen-sama wishes for us to be there already, you do not have the time to make a detour." Ulquiorra reported, pausing in his step to wait for the other.

Grimmjow snorted, but he knew very well he wasn't strong enough to challenge the "king" of Hueco Mundo yet, so he followed the dark-haired Espada without another word but major glares to the back of his pretty little head.

_Aizen's Throne room_

"My Espada..." Aizen drawled slowly, his chin cupped in his hand. "We seem to have a bit of a problem..."

"Like hell its 'a bit' of a problem! Why the fu-"

"Grimmjow." Aizen cut him off and he sat back, growling deep in his throat. "I am going to send two of you to the World of the Living... to gather data on this strange phenomenon." He let his dark brown eyes flit over every face in the room. "Ulquiorra and Grimmjow." he decided.

And so they opened a Gargantua and left.

* * *

_**A/N: **Thank you guys for all the reviews! I'm amazed at how many of you answered those questions a while back. Thanks._

_I think I had one or two requests for this chapter, so I tried to do what they wanted. Hope that its okay. Also: Only a couple more chapters until this story's over. Thanks to all who stuck with me this far, hope you'll keep reading until the end. _

_To answer some questions/address some comments:_

RedRumYumi: _I was thinking of doing something to that effect (your last suggestion), but I have yet to decide who or what will get it. Probably NOT Byakuya, because I have no idea how he'd react to something like that._

Qwerty321: _Good question! Perhaps. We'll have to see._

K.N Writer:_ I actually felt the same way, thanks. I just wasn't sure how to make it flow properly. Thanks again._

Yourfan, TaiTaiFishie, .Singer, Guest, Squirrelflightbc, and Trappy: _Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!_

_Please review with characters you want to come back! Let me know your favorite lines/scenes so far! Reviews make the fingers fly fast! Love to all~ HikaKiti_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

_Urahara Shop_

Yoruichi sat up again, this time awake on her own accord. She was bored, and it was getting kind of cold in the air conditioned shop. She dropped onto all fours, shaking out thick black fur before she continued on. At least this form hadn't changed. Despite her teasing, she really was missing her old body.

She prowled around the corner, saw Urahara bent over the table hard at work, and decided to give him a little bit of a break, at least for a couple minutes. She swept forward and rubbed along his legs, which were a lot smoother and thinner than she was used too.

He jumped and looked down, face brightening with a grin as he scooped her up. She purred. He smiled wider.

As she was cuddled in his arms fondly, she met the insane gaze of the Twelfth Division Captain. He hadn't changed much – thinned down, gotten breasts. He still looked completely disturbing and completely crazy.

"Kurosutchi." she said evenly, watching him as Kisuke nuzzled her ear.

The captain in the corner looked up, vaguely surprised. Kisuke pulled his head away.

"Yoruichi-san?" Urahara narrowed his eyes and peered at her, ceasing his scratching of the spot right behind her ear.

"Of course its me, Kisuke. How many talking cats do you know?" she demanded. To prove her point, she flashed into her human form in his arms.

He didn't react besides letting her go and stepping back slightly, seeing as she wasn't a woman anymore and he just felt weird holding a guy. He suddenly grinned and laughed. "Your cat voice is all girly now, Yoruichi-san!"

Yoruichi turned back to a cat as Ururu walked in with Urahara's dinner, looking a bit like that little boy from fourth division – Hanataro.

"I'm glad you find it so amusing." she said.

Ururu laughed nervously and then scooted back as her paw flashed out, claws glinting. "E-eh... back to work now, Yoruichi-san..."

_Orihime's Apartment_

"Inoue-san..." Ishida began slowly, staring at his reflection. "I..."

"You look so pretty! I'm jealous, Ishida-kun!" Orihime sighed, clapping. He watched her smile and clasp her fingers together at his shoulder in the mirror.

"J-jealous." Ishida stammered, unable to think while facing himself in the mirror. He never _ever _wanted to see himself like this.

She'd curled his hair into little princess ringlets and tied it up into a high ponytail. The curls shortened it slightly, so it reached to the middle of his back instead of all the way to his butt. He did look pretty, as she'd said. And it freaked him out.

"Whats wrong?" Orihime's eyes widened. "Are you upset, Ishida-kun? I'm sorry." she hung her head and Ishida flinched.

"N-no! Inoue-san, it's not that! I'm not... upset." That was a lie, of course. "I just don't... don't like... being a girl."

"Oh! It's okay, Ishida-kun! I don't like being a boy, either! I miss-" the loud ringing of her cell phone in her pocket cut off whatever she'd been about to say.

"Hello?"

"ORIHIME-SAN! GET OVER HERE! TATSUKI'S GONNA KILL ME!" It was Keigo, shouting at the top of his lungs. Even Ishida could hear it, and he rolled his eyes.

"Asano-san?" Orihime blinked, but the call ended. "Oh no! Tatsuki-chan really is gonna kill him!" she gasped, gullible as always. "Come on, Ishida-kun!"

"A-actually, I think I'm going to... go home. Sorry, Inoue-san. Uh... good luck." he quickly walked past.

"I'll save you, Kurosaki-kun's friends!" Orihime promised, racing out the door.

_ Supermarket_

Rukia hissed in frustration and stared up at the object that stared innocently down at her on the shelf. She hated it when she couldn't reach something. Usually it wasn't that big of a deal, but here she couldn't use her shunpo to reach it. She was in the middle of a human store, after all. Giving a ginal glare to the box, she resigned herself to further teasing and called out gruffly: "Renji!"

The red head, hair tied back in a ponytail twice its usual length, poked his head around the corner. He disappeared again but returned a moment later, pushing the already half-full cart. "What's up, Rukia?" he asked, trying to decipher Urahara's handwriting on the list.

Rukia turned her huge eyes on him and then looked away quickly. "You idiot! Don't bend over like that!" she growled.

Renji looked up from the list. He was leaning on the handlebar of the shopping cart. "What?"

"You're flashing everyone! Stand up straight!" Rukia snapped, and Renji's eyes widened. His lips split into his usual mocking grin.

"Does it bother you?" he taunted leaning over a bit further.

"Ugh! Renji, put those away!" the feminine voice wasn't Rukia's. Ichigo had come back around the corner, snatching the list from Renji's fingers to cross of the next item on the list as he tossed it in the cart.

"Ahahaha!" Renji snorted with laughter but none the less straightened up out of his bent stance. "What did you want, anyways, pipsqueak?" Rukia glowered at him and jerked a hand up, pointing to the box sitting high on the top shelf, mocking her. Renji flashed another taunting smirk and reached up. Even as a woman he still stood tall, easily able to reach it.

Ichigo, however, reached for it too. "I got it." he said, already wrapping his long fingers around it.

"She asked me, Strawberry." Renji countered, pulling it towards him.

"Well I already got it!"

"No, I do!"

"I do!"

They weren't shouting, exactly, but they were being loud. Another man on the aisle glanced over, then grabbed his face as blood sprayed through his fingers. His nose was bleeding.

"Guys! Guys stop!" Rukia protested as Renji was knocked back by Ichigo's nudge, his backside bumping the cart. Said red-head leaned away from Ichigo's outstretched fingers, ripping the box out of his hands.

This would have just seemed like two boys rough-housing, had they _been _men. But as women Ichigo was accidentally almost pulling what Rukia had termed ''a Matsumoto''. Renji was near suffication.

_ "Guyyyyyys." _Rukia growled, finally settling on giving them both sharp thumbs on the head.

_ Same Store_

"Holy crap." Grimmjow paused in his step and leaned back, hands in his pockets as he peered around the shelf. The girls who'd caught his attention had been in the most lovely of positions, but were now arguing with a shorter boy, arms crossed over a large chests.

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra, coming back to stand at his shoulder, turned his emotionless eyes to the taller Espada. "We know them."

"There's no way in hell I'd know her and not remember. I'd bet she'd be fun to play with..." He pointed to the red-head with all the tattoos marking her bare arms. "Or the strawberry blonde... strawberry..." he trailed off, taking a second look. "Ah, shit."

If Ulquiorra could laugh, he no doubt would have. "Kurosaki Ichigo." he said. "The Substitute Shinigami. And Abarai Renji."

Grimmjow took a moment to mentally throw up, only showing the tiniest of shivers on the outside. Then he flashed his characteristic grin and loped around the corner. "Yo, Ichigo!" he shouted, nearly wincing at the way his voice sounded – not at all manly and macho.

The orange-haired woman turned around, eyes widening in shock. "Grimm-"

"Yeah, shut up. It's me. You better tell me what the hell's goin on, ya dumba-"

A store worker called out. She was hurriedly walking towards them, looking flustered. Ulquiorra stood at Grimmjow's side and watched at the woman came up.

Both he and the blue-haired man were in gigai's made to make them look more human, but they still stood out.

"Um, excuse me miss, we're going to have to ask you to leave the store." the woman said timidly, looking up at Grimmjow's face.

Grimmjow snorted and stared back. "Gimme a reason."

"Y-you're clothing, miss. It's making some of the women uncomfortable, and I believe you have a trail of customers following you... and... uh..." she stammered off into mumbles.

Grimmjow crossed his arms over his chest. His body was covered enough, wasn't it? A black and white sports bra covered his upper half, showing off his well-muscled stomach, while a pair of cut-off white jean shorts adorned his lower half. He glanced over his shoulder and found that the worker was right, three or four men were peeking around the corner, one of which was holding his nose as blood dripped through his fingers.

Grimmjow heard Ichigo snort with laughter and his little dark-haired friend – that chick, Rukia – joined in. He grumbled under his breath. Renji was chuckling as well.

"Are you friends of his?" The woman asked Ulquiorra with a look of frank disgust. The little Espada's gigai might not have his trademark tear streaks or gaping hole in his throat, but his white-as-snow skin and dark-ringed eyes still made him look oddly like a vampire. A very pretty, very feminine vampire. He probably looked like some sort of Goth punk girl to the random store worker.

"I would not say we were friends, but I am with him." Ulquiorra said blandly. The woman rolled her eyes, much more brave when it came to speaking to the shorter Espada then the taller, muscled blue one.

"Then you need to leave too." She turned to Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia. "And you, too. I'm afraid you're all causing a rather big disturbance."

Ichigo glared at Grimmjow. "Look lady, can I buy this stuff first?" he asked, stifling the urge to punch the huge smirk off his girly little face.

"I suppose so. But your friends need to leave right now." The woman seemed to have gained a bit more courage, so as Grimmjow brushed past he made sure to bump into her, sending her skinny form tumbling.

"I was just leaving." Grimmjow growled, already bored with this. Ichigo? Shopping? Lame.

Ulquiorra stepped over her and followed Grimmjow. Renji yawned and walked after them with his hands behind his head, his black-haired friend following. Ichigo angrily stalked after the lady towards the register.

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra tried to get his attention. Success, Grimmjow turned his sky blue eyes on him. "Aizen-sama ordered us to blend in."

"Who gives a beep~ what that ~beep~ wants? If we did something wrong, he can get off his ass and come tell us. I'll do what I want." Grimmjow snapped, jumping slightly when the doors slid open without his touch. "What the hell is this shit?"

Ulquiorra brushed past without a pause, glancing back once outside. "Are you afraid of doors, Grimmjow?" his tone and face might have been emotionless, but there was a taunt hiding in his words. Grimmjow snarled and stalked out, glancing warily at the doors. He would much have preferred just blasting a hole in the wall, laughing, and terrorizing a few random humans. But he figured that might have been poking Aizen's temper a bit too much.

"What now, Ulquiorra?"

"We will wait for Kurosaki. He will tell us what is going on."

_**A/N: **I did it! ... I think. Okay, sorry about the ~beep~s. I am...such a weirdo that I dislike using bad words. And Grimmkitty has a really bad pottymouth, so to keep him in character I just put beeps._

_Thank you for all the reviews!_

KurosakiCrystal18, Thetruestrawberryfever, Code Ninjahinja : _Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!_

Guest:_ I might just take your suggestion into the next, or next next, chapter. Good idea (;_

Qwerty321: _Ask and you shall recieve in the next chapter... even if I really, really, REALLY hate that man. With a passion rival to my adoration to Ishi._

Ayasegawa's Ruri'iro: _Done. Done done done done done. Next chapter, promise on my Quincy necklace. And yes, people reading, I do have one. You're jealous! Wahahaha!_

_Thank you! Review~ HikaKiti3_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Park_

"Izuru, I could really use a cup of coffee." Hisagi muttered.

Kira nodded, not bothering to open his eyes. "Me too."

"Let's go to that little coffee place we saw on the way here."

Kira nodded, "If you want, I guess." and sat up, whimpering as the sun flared into exist, just setting but still bright enough to burn at his eyes. Hisagi was already climbing to his feet.

"Come on, Izuru."

Kira nodded again and stood, stumbling a bit. "Have we been passed out all day?"

"I guess." Hisagi yawned.

They forgot the picnic basket and wobbled out of the park. They'd made it to the sidewalk outside when Kira suddenly lurched to the side and threw up. Hisagi barely made it to him in time to grab his hair, which threatened to fall into his face. That would have been a disgusting mess.

He waited for Kira to finish barfing up his lunch and then the two continued along the street, Kira looking slightly green.

"Is your friend alright, miss?" a tall man asked, coming out of one of the many stores.

"He's fine." Hisagi said absently, waving a hand.

"No, the girl." The man looked confused and stepped forward to look at Kira. He lifted a hand to brush the hair from her face and Kira's green shade darkened. Hisagi tried to cover up his mistake the same time he tried to warn the man, but Kira didn't want to wait.

He bent forward and threw up, all over the man's shoes.

"I'm sorry!" Kira yelped the same time the man turned a shade of purple.

"You little ~beep~!" the man was suddenly very angry, a vein throbbing in his temple as his hand shot forward and he grabbed a fistful of Kira's hair, jerking him up.

"Leave her alone!" Hisagi hit the man in the wrist, not hard enough to break it but hard enough to loosen the grip and let Kira drop back to his dainty little girl feet, but Kira was still slightly drunk and stumbled, falling to his knees. Hisagi stepped in front of his friend and crossed his arms over his large chest. "No man should ever lay hands on a girl like that. You disgust me."

"Oh shut up." the man snorted, picking up his discarded bag and stalking off.

"Are you okay, Izuru?" Hisagi turned to look over his shoulder and saw Kira look up, turn red, and then fix his eyes on the ground. "What's up?"

"Hisagi... I can see your panties."

"E-eh?"

"MOVE!"

"SORRY!"

"JUST MOVE!"

_Tatsuki's Apartment_

"You idiots. It's getting late, shouldn't you leave now?" Tatsuki asked, loud and harsh but somewhat calmer than she had been moments ago.

"Um, Arisawa-san... I think you've killed him." Mizuiro observed, spinning his cell phone on the floor where he sat, calmly watching.

Tatsuki looked down. Keigo had stopped moving beneath her. She'd been sitting on his back, ignoring his complaints that she was crushing him. She knew it hurt him – she didn't care. She snorted and climbed off his back, going to flop onto the couch. Keigo didn't move, but he whimpered slightly. "He's not dead." she informed Mizuiro. "So, are you leaving?"

She found she could get along with the quiet Mizuiro better than she could with loud, obnoxious, perverted Keigo. "I would, Arisawa-san, but where would I go? I was supposed to have a date... and I can't go home like this, my sister will be there. Would you mind terribly if I stayed here, just for a while longer?" he blinked his innocent gray eyes at her. All the more convincing because his huge gaze reminded her of Orihime. And his argument wasn't bad, either.

"Whatever. I don't-"

"I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU!" Orihime's voice was recognizable, even though it was at least an octave deeper and was heard through a door. There was a click and the door swung open. The girl – who was, for the moment, a fairly hot guy – stepped inside the doorway in time for it to swing back and hit her. "Owwy!" she whined, kicking it open again and hurriedly walking in. She saw Keigo on the floor and her mouth popped open. "Oh no! I'm too late!"

"Orihime!" Tatsuki called from the couch. "What are you blabbering about?"

"Tatsuki-chan, Kurosaki-kun will be mad that you killed his friend." Orihime scolded, never the less stepping straight over Keigo and joining her on the couch.

"I don't think Ichigo will mind too much, Inoue-chan." Mizuiro piped up.

"So cold..." Keigo groaned into the floor.

_Ice Cream Parlor_

"Matsumoto, it's getting dark." Toshiro sighed, glancing around before licking the three-scoop-tall ice cream cone. All vanilla, with a big red cherry on top. "Where are we staying?"

The tall blonde flounced back out, still walking like the flirtatious girl she was even as a man. "Orihime-chan's place, as always. She never can say no."

Toshiro decided not to point out that that was rude and obnoxious of her. He just rolled his eyes and attempted to eat the treat in his hand like a mature adult.

The sky was indeed getting dark. It _was _late, but that wasn't the main reason. There was a flash of lightening and rain poured down. Toshiro backed up so he was standing under the awning. "And look, you took so long it started raining. By the way – everything you spent today is coming out of your paycheck."

"Taicho~" Matsumoto whined, "You're so cold."

Toshiro ignored her and stepped out into the rain. "We had better get to Inoue's house, then." he sighed, preparing to walk through the rain.

Another problem to tack onto the whole gender-flipped thing was that, like Urahara had said, they were supposed to function as gigai. Therefor shinigami powers were practically shut off, with the exception of minimal things like spirit pressure sensing. That meant shunpo was out of the question. Which left walking through the rain was the only option, unless Toshiro wanted to hang out in the fashion store until the rain stopped. He certainly didn't. And besides, a little rain never hurt anyone.

He'd barely taken four steps into the torrential downpour when his lieutenant had something's else to protest about.

"No! Taicho you can't do that!" Matsumoto looked horrified as she grabbed her taicho from behind and dragged him back under the awning.

"What NOW, Matsumoto?" he snapped, glaring up at her as he pulled away.

"You're wearing white!" she shrieked, as if it was a federal crime.

"Yes, and it's the fifth outfit you've put me in today. Did you want to go to Inoue's house or not?" he arched an eyebrow and stepped back out in the rain. He made it farther this time, and in seconds his spiky white hair had been slicked down his back, sticking to his shoulders and face.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto sounded deeply upset so he paused, turning to look back.

"What? I can dry off at Inoue's, if we go." he sighed, exasperated with the blonde's antics.

Matsumoto laughed and Toshiro wondered if she had somehow managed to become drunk. "Look down, taicho!" she giggled.

He did, and turned pink. "Oh. Dammit! Why didn't you tell me!" he demanded as he raced back for the shelter of the awning, crossing his arms over his chest. Black straps stood out on his thin shoulders, and his arms covered the rest of the black undergarments.

"I tried, Taicho!" she laughed, tugging off her black coat and setting it on his head. "There ya go. Now lets hurry and get to Hime-chan's, alright?"

Toshiro, still flushed and looking as if he was drowning in Matsumoto's heavy black jacket, nodded and followed her out into the rain.

"Oh, and taicho? I didn't take you to be one for Victoria's Secret..."

"Sh-Shut up, MATSUMOTO!" Toshiro flushed. "You're the one who made me wear it!"

_Outside the supermarket_

Ichigo stepped outside, three bags slung over each shoulder, and was met with a foot to the ankle. He tripped, managing not to fall but thoroughly ticked off. He shot a dark brown glare to the left and came eyelevel with Grimmjow's chest. He flushed and took a step to the side, still angry. "What the hell, man?" Ichigo growled, readjusting his hold on the bags.

"What, ya loose your sense'a battle when ya lost your ~beep~?" Grimmjow flashed his cocky smile, which was actually pretty hot on a girl.

Ichigo's anger flickered to a greater heat. Rukia and Renji, whom had been previously arguing about the rain the other side of the doorway, looked up. Renji grinned and held out an arm for the bags, which Ichigo tossed over. Rukia frowned. "Ichigo..." she warned.

"Oh, shut it, Rukia." Ichigo rolled his eyes, but he was distracted enough for Grimmjow to get the advantage. And he took it.

_Bam. _The back of Ichigo's head slammed into the concrete and his vision blurred. Grimmjow's eyes glinted down at him – catlike and narrow, but icy blue. Ichigo brought a knee up into Grimmjow's stomach, grunting as he collided with solid muscle. Grimmjow was knocked off-balance and Ichigo took the chance to shake him off and pin him under him. "You wanna loose again, Grimmjow?" he gave a sharp smile of his own and Grimmjow's eyes narrowed with fury.

They slammed punches and kicks into each other, rising to their feet only for the other to knock them down. Both of them had bloody elbows and knees from the concrete, and Grimmjow hand landed a punch that had given Ichigo a bloody nose.

Ichigo was wondering why no one had come out to stop them yet. They were fighting directly in front of the very store they'd been kicked out of, and yet no one had come to break them up. He pinned Grimmjow and went to punch him in the face.

There was a tear of fabric and Ichigo paused with his fist in the air, looking down. Grimmjow kicked him off and Ichigo stumbled, on his feet finally. Grimmjow had a piece of black fabric in his hand which he tossed to the side in disgust.

Ichigoo looked down to see that a huge chunk had been taken out of the side of the skirt Rukia had told him to wear. Grimmjow laughed, wiping the sparse drops of blood that came from his split lip.

Someone whistled, and Ichigo looked up, ready to punch Renji too, and saw that he and Grimmjow had quite the audience. Men had gathered around, blocking the storefront and spilling into the street. "Oh god." Ichigo paled, while Grimmjow looked around, annoyed.

"Who are these ~beep~s?"

_Same place, same time_

Ulquiorra let Grimmjow get himself into the fight. Was it his fault if the kitty-Espada got himself killed? Not by his thoughts. He was not about to disobey Aizen-sama's orders, but if the idiot wanted to, and wanted to get beat up in the process, he could.

Ulquiorra was standing, straight-backed as always, to the left of the doors, watching his companion in his pathetic scuffle with the orange-haired substitute shinigami. Men were gathering around and he didn't understand what was so fasinating about a couple of idiots beating the crap out of each other.

The rolled over again and some of the men cheered.

"Are you part of some goth lolita club or somethin'?" a man asked him. Ulquiorra looked up and met his eyes, not answering. "Well, pretty girl? Are ya?"

"I do not know what you are talking about." Ulquiorra dismissed the man, turning his eyes to see Grimmjow get flipped over.

"Hey girl, I didn't mean to be rude. You're gorgeous, babe. And I heard goths were pretty good in be-" The man lifted an arm and ran his fingers up Ulquiorra's arm, pushing up the long black sleeve that had covered Ulquiorra's arm to his wrist.

Ulquiorra moved quickly, grabbing the man's arm without even blinking. He closed his fist and the man gasped as his arm snapped. "A-AGH!" he screamed, racing away.

Ulquiorra went back to watching the fight, but the men gathered around him had all scooted away. It wasn't as though he cared. About... anything.

There was a gap around him, and a man lying on the floor behind him with his arm bent at a weird angle. Grimmjow tossed away a torn piece of fabric from Ichigo's skirt and then stalked over to him. "Come on, Ulquiorra. I'm done. This is boring."

Ulquiorra stared at him. "You don't order me, Grimmjow. Remember that." he said in his monotone voice.

"Yeah yeah, emo-boy." Grimmjow waved him off and Ulquiorra brushed past, blinking slowly. "Kurosaki Ichigo." he called.

The men, who had slowly been drifting away, glanced back in hope of another fight.

Ichigo, who had finally picked up the bags, glanced at Ulquiorra with a roll of his eyes. "Not you too."

"Explain to us what is going on."

Ichigo's eyes widened slightly. He nodded.

_Elsewhere_

"All I'm saying, Ikkaku, is that you'd look incredibly beautiful if you let _me _fix you up a bit. Aren't you the one always saying we should take advantage of things?" Yumichika batted long eyelashes over rosy cheeks and swept a long raven-black bit of hair over his slender shoulder.

"In BATTLE, Yumichika! Not... I didn't mean... You're a freakin' pansy!" Ikkaku cried, waving his arms. "It's bad enough we've been forced to look all girly and ~beep~. Doesn't mean we gotta ACT like chicks, too!"

"I'm not ACTING like a woman~" Yumichika whined. "I'm... dealing with the situation as I see fit, in the most beautiful way possible!"

A short, incredibly cute teenager strolled by, obviously pretending to drop his wallet. Yumichika, however, in an effort to show inside beauty as well as his obvious outside, picked it up without a second thought and strutted after the boy, hips swinging. "Excuse me. Think you dropped this."

The boy blushed as he took it. "Thank you. Can I get the name of the beautiful woman in front of me?"

"Yumichika Ayasegawa. And you?" Yumichika looked absolutely delighted to be called beautiful.

"Hinaki Tama." He gave a little fake bow. "Care for a pretzel? I hear there's a pretty good place at the streetcorner, and it would be rude of me to part ways with a pretty girl who saved my wallet."

"Sorry, he- she's busy." Ikkaku cut in, grabbing Yumichika's wrist and dragging him away.

"Another time, maybe!" the teenager cried.

"Not happening, Yumichika." Ikkaku warned.

_**A/N: **_

TaiTaiFishie: _Good to know, thanks. And I might try to do all of them, I just have to incorperate... in.. IDK how to spell that. Anyway,s glad you've enjoyed it, and trust Byakuya to be in it again soon._

Bleepbloop559: _Much thanks! Here ya go!_

WanbenkuSan: _I feel very loved. Thank you! Haha and I'm flattered you think this is so good._

KurosakiCrystal18: _I do indeed, and I hope this chapter was to your standards._

Qwerty321: _I'm uber happy you like it!_

Ayasegawa's Ruri'iro: _ You have made me jealous. Grr._

Scaevola2: _That means alot, thank you very much. I was hoping no one would be too angry about those._

Trappy: _You know I love you._

Ultimatemh: _Thank you(:_

Banksy: _Glad to see you're back. I was wonderin where you'd gone... jk, but glad to see a familiar name returning(:_

_Reviews are loved, wanted, and read! So review, or I'll... I'll... I'll steal Toshiro's icecream! _

_~HikaKiti_

**_PS: I finished the Fullbring Arc of the anime (cliffhanger, much?) a couple days ago. I was wondering if any of you wanted them to be in it. Yes? No? REVIEW!_**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Byakuya was hiding it out in the Urahara Shop – er... he was... no, theres no other way to put it. Kuchiki-taicho was hiding in the Urahara shop. He was tired of it – all of it. It was bad enough he got weird love letters from women back in Soul Society, but being hit on by men of all ages was highly disconcerting. It _bugged _him.

Very nearly as much as his hair clip being torn out of his hair bugged him. "Yoruichi." he said coldly, not looking up from the book he had borrowed. "Give those back immediately."

"Come and get them, Byakuya!" she said cheerfully, sitting on the table and tossing them up and down. The flash of silver fell across the letters in his book, and he irritably snapped it shut and stood up. "Shihoin." he warned, holding out his hand for the clip.

"Don't call me that." Yoruichi grumbled, crossing her legs. She was wearing Urahara's pants and no shirt, and she flashed Byakuya a grin. "Don't tell me you've given up trying to catch me, Byakuya. I mean, I suppose I would. There's no way you'll catch me." Her teeth flashed again in a taunting smile.

And Byakuya was baited again into chasing the ex-captain. They flashed around the room, and then out into the street.

_Same Place_

Ichigo jumped to the side in time, but Renji wasn't so lucky. Yoruichi planted a foot in his face and catapulted into the air, and Byakuya followed closely.

Rukia burst out laughing, pointing to a stunned Renji who just stood there, a footprint reddening his forehead. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra watched, near identical expressions of boredom on their faces. They turned towards Ichigo at the same time. "So, you're telling me that I'm a chick 'cause some brat broke some bottle that contained magic crap that ~bleep~ing turned me into this?" Grimmjow's blue eyes slid past Ichigo, and suddenly Ichigo wondered if it was such a good idea to bring the fight-ready Espada to the place that two of his current anger-targets were.

"Uh... to paraphrase, I guess that's pretty much right." Ichigo said warily.

Grimmjow went to blast past Ichigo and an arm was thrown out to stop him. He crashed into it, slightly surprised when it kind of hurt his chest. He backed up, shooting a dark look at Ichigo.

Urahara's blonde hair poked out of the open door, ponytail swinging, and a second later he was kicked out by a foot, and Kurotsuchi Mayuri's horrible face appeared.

Grimmjow actually took another step back – but it was okay, because Ichigo did too. Renji glanced up and flinched. Rukia's laughing turned into a choked half-cry before she remembered her manners and just went quiet.

Ulquiorra didn't react. Go figure.

"What are you staring at, you insolent, idiotic, substitute?" Mayuri snapped while Urahara waved childishly, mouth a huge cheesy smile.

Grimmjow opened his mouth to start wondering just what the ~beep~ this thing was. But the thing's awful eyes turned on him and lit up. "Are those... those are Espada! Perhaps you aren't as much of a fool as I thought, I've been wanting one to analyze."

Grimmjow leaned his head back. "You stupid? The ~beep~ you talking about?" he barked.

"Er... Kurosaki-san! Did you get the supplies I asked for?" Urahara quickly interrupted, seeing the look contorting

"Yeah here." Ichigo held up both fists to show the bags, while Grimmjow stared down Mayuri and Ulquiorra watched Rukia and Renji as they got into a mini-fight.

Urahara clapped happily before looking around. "Have you seen Yoruichi-san?"

Kurotsuchi looked at his ex-superior in annoyance. "Did I not tell you she ran out here after Kuchiki?"

Urahara ignored him and clip-clopped in his clogs over to Ichigo. He took a bag and peeked in. "Okey-doeky! I'm going to go put this in. Come on Mayuri!" he bounded back into the shop.

Grimmjow turned to drag Ulquiorra after him into the shop, and found that the shorter man had frozen and was turning his head up and left, eyes widening ever-so-slightly.

"Ulquiorra?" Grimmjow growled, but the black-haired Espada ignored him. And then he closed his eyes and poofed out of his gigai, letting the fake body flop limply for Grimmjow to catch. "What the ~beep~ are you doing?"

"The woman... I can sense her."

_Orihime's Apartment_

"Ah~ Taicho. She's not here." Matsumoto whined, peeking in through the window.

Toshiro muttered under his breath. "Where the hell _is _she, then, Matsumoto? And where are _we _going to go?"

"I don't know~" Matsumoto sighed dramatically and flopped down.

"I'm going back to Kurosaki's house." he said after a long, drawn out pause in which Matsumoto whined and complained about the rain, all the while doing nothing but sitting on her butt.

"Hitsugaya-san? Matsumoto-san?" the voice wasn't Orihime's – not by a long shot – it was quiet and feminine.

Toshiro looked up. "Who...?"

"Ishida!" Matsumoto bounced to her feet. "Do you have a key?" she asked hopefully, opening huge eyes that would have made sense if she was still a girl, but kind of looked silly on the muscular, handsome guy.

Ishida blinked. "No, why would I have a key to Inoue-san's house? I just sensed you and came to tell you that-"

"Ah~ you're right. More likely Ichigo has a key." Matsumoto interrupted, tapping her chin.

Ishida narrowed his eyes behind his glasses. "I beg your pardon – what?"

"Ichigo. He probably has a key. You know – if he ever needs to visit Hime-chan." she winked suggestively and Ishida sputtered.

"E-eh... ano... I don't- I doubt- I-" he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I have no idea if Kurosaki has a key or not. All I came to say was that Inoue-san is at her friend's house."

"Which friend? Ichigo?" Matsumoto leaned forward, which usually would have cause Ishida to freeze up and blush, but only cause him to back away awkwardly today.

"No, Arisawa Tatsuki. May I ask where you get the idea that Inoue-san and Kurosaki are always at each others houses?" he asked hotly, shoving his glasses up his nose.

Toshiro, who had been patiently waiting beside his talkative lieutenant and the stuttering Quincy, finally gave up being patient. "She's a lazy idiot, probably does nothing but dream all day. Thank you for telling us where Inoue was, Ishida. Matsumoto, come on." he zipped up the front of the way-too-big jacket and walked past.

"Ah – and Ishida. If you're going to be out in this weather much longer, I would avoid wearing what you are wearing." Toshiro called back, already starting down the stairs.

Ishida looked down, smirking slightly. Toshiro, Toshiro. That is why one wears such a weather-proof _cape. __**Duh.**_

_Tatsuki's Apartment_

"Oi, whats bugging you, Orihime?" Tatsuki looked up from the video game she was playing with Keigo and Mizuiro, noticing how Orihime's player on the screen had died three times in a row without so much as a fight.

"Eh? Oh! Sorry, Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime blushed and thumped her head with her knuckles. "I thought I felt... something..." she shook her head. "Sorry!"

"It's fine, but you're out until we bring you back." Tatsuki said. "Keigo, if you jump on my head one more time I will kill you – in real life!" she snarled.

Keigo flinched and his character plunged into the metal spikes sticking out of the ground. Mizuiro giggled and kept playing, the game setting his huge gray eyes on fire.

Then the door was thrown open. Tatsuki stood up, sliding into a karate stance and looking ready to beat the crap out of whoever dared open her door without a knock. Then she paused. Who...?

"Woman." the pale, pretty girl said. Her voice was quiet and monotone. She was beautiful, with midnight-black hair cascading over her shoulders and down her back. She looked like she was crying, with green-black marking scrawled down her pure white cheeks. Her eyes were green and vividly so, half-covered by her eyelids. She looked like she was wearing half of a helmet with a little sharp horn. And she was dressed in a low-cut white robe-thing.

Orihime stood numbly and stood up, eyes huge. "Ulquiorra..."

Tatsuki went to grab her, sensing something weird about the guy, but Orihime, as usual, completely ruined the moment and surprised everyone – even, although no one could tell – Ulquiorra.

~warning, potential spoilers ahead~

"You're so pretty too!" and then she burst into tears. "But you were dead! Kurosaki-kun... Kurosaki-kun... k-killed..."

Tatsuki stared, horrified and confused. Keigo was equally silent, a bit confused as he could only see the very ghostly outline of something in the doorway, and had no idea what was going on. Mizuiro was watching with a cool and calm expression, eyes taking in everything and seeing slightly less than Keigo's.

"Ulquiorra you ~bleep~! Don't just walk off like-!" Another face appeared.

"G-Grimmjow!" Orihime shrieked.

"Oh, you meant that woman? The whiny little ~beep~?" Grimmjow let himself in and leaned against the wall.

"You were hurt! You should be dead too!" Orihime pushed out her lips, then looked guilty. "Oh no! I don't mean to be rude! I am very happy you're okay!"

"Wow you really are a idiot." Grimmjow stared at her. "We tried to kill you. And you're friends. The ~beep~ is wrong with you?"

Not for the first time, Tatsuki wished to know as well.

_**A/N:**_

_Okay, so before I get to the thank-yous and stuff, I just wanted to make three things clear: 1). This is random timeline that I created so I could have all the characters I wanted in it. 2). ... ... I forgot. Oh yeah! This story is coming to a close. There will probably be only one or two more chapters. 3). Fullbring will not be appearing. I don't really have enough time... Sorry, I admit I was kind of looking forward to Yukio. He's so cute as a boy... reminds me a little of Ciel Phantomhive, but... without Sebastian. Anyways, off-subject. That's all of my announcements._

Scaevola2: Fullbring will not be in it. God Bless you as well.

TaiTaiFishie: Like stated numerous times, I am very happy that you enjoy my story. And I thank you for sticking with me so far. I will try to fit in as many of your suggestions as I can.

Qwerty321: Those were my favorite parts as well. And I, too be honest, hated the Fullbring. It was the reason I stopped watching Bleach. I forced myself to finish, and I found I actually enjoyed Yukio as a character. I don't know why.

Ayasegawa's Ruri'iro: Yay! Glad to hear it!

fearlessX1025: I have yet to decide whether Ikkaku would be bald or not... which is kinda why I didn't tell. ^^" sorry...

Hello There: THANK YOU! For telling me where the anime leave off in the manga, I mean. I've been trying to find it. I've begun reading. I'mma be ticked if what I think is going to happens, happens. Actually, I won't be ticked. I'll probably curl into a ball and cry. But anyways, THANKS.

Rainb0wNinja: Thank you(:

Banksy: Thank you(: And, unfortunatly, no, the Fullbringers will not be appearing. T.T

Trappy: Yes, yes you should. So go watch it. Now. And it's alright, you know she already thinks you've lost your mind. Sanity, pfft who needs it.

Yourfan: Thank you, very much(: Head Captain will be coming in in the last chapter, I think. Thank you(:

~Hika to the Kiti.

PS:

My mommy just so happens to walk in while I'm watching an AMV for Bleach, and it JUST SO HAPPENS to be the scene where Kira and Hisagi are passed out on the floor in those loinclothes with Matsumoto. Really? T.T Oh well, already thought I was crazy and weird.

And that scene was still funny.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Back in the Kurosaki Household_

"Dad, Ichi-nii is gone again." Karin said as she dropped into her place at the table and dug into her dinner.

"My son! Are you on a date with one of those girls we saw in your room?" Isshin jumped to his feet and ran towards the door, then twirled dramatically and changed direction, so he flew at the giant poster of his wife. "My love! Our son has finally showed an interest in women!"

He rambled on while Karin ate and Yuzu neatly set her place at the table. "So which do you think he's with, Karin-chan? There was a nerdy looking one and a sporty one."

"With his brain he'll go for the nerd." Karin said nonchalantly, popping another bite into her mouth while Yuzu looked thoughtful.

"She kind of reminded me of Ishida-kun."

_The Sewing Shop_

Ishida – in the middle of his favorite showing shop, relishing the fact that the girls there weren't giving him odd looks as he measured fabric – sneezed.

_Elsewhere _

Hiyori yawned and stumbled out of her room, her stomach rumbling. Popcorn didn't exactly make a filling dinner, and she ate a lot more than the average girl – er, guy – her size.

She dragged her feet into the kitchen and pulled open the door to the fridge. The light made her wince, and then she nearly jumped out of her skin as blonde hair fell over her shoulder. "Hiyori?"

She tried to stand and felt something press against her back as more long blonde hair rolled over her shoulders. "Sh-Shin...ji!" she squeaked, crouching down. "Get yer boobs off my neck, ya perv!"

Shinji stood up, grinning and putting his hands behind his head. "Sorry, Hiyori. I jus' wanted ta see if we had any a that stuff from yesterday left."

"The spaghetti? Nah, I ate it, idiot." Hiyori snapped. "So get away from me, and take those with you." she growled, turning back around and rummaging through one of the drawers on the bottom of the fridge.

"Ah~ Hiyori, are ya jealous?" Shinji purred, bouncing his chest in his hands.

"St-stop!" she reached for a sandal to find she was barefoot. Shinji grinned his usual toothy smile before she planted both feet in his face, then he backed away and rubbed his nose.

"Owwy, Hiyori!" he whined, pushing his lips out in a pout.

Hiyori snarled a couple curses at him and suddenly the kitchen door swung open. Mashiro was standing there, short green hair ruffled up on one side as if she'd been sleeping. She was wearing a pair of Kensei's pants, which were huge and baggy on her and sliding down one hip. But her anger kept them both from laughing.

"Why can't you both shut up?" she wailed sleepily.

Shinji and Hiyori immediately began to argue, interrupting each other and hitting each other.

"The sexual tension in this room is entirely too high. I would much prefer it to be quiet in here, seeing as some of us are upstairs trying to read." Lisa came in, pushing up her glasses and flashing a dangerous look at the two blonde arguing. She was tall and lithe, with shaggy black hair falling just around her ears. Her rounded, feminine glasses were too small on her chiseled, masculine face.

Hiyori snapped her head around, holding Shinji's arm and a handful of his hair, with one of her knees shoved in his gut. "_What?" _she squawked, blood rushing up from her neck and rising to her short blonde hair, giving her the appearance of a thermometer.

"Lisa..." Shinji warned darkly, not amused.

"Relax, you idiots. I was merely quoting one of my favorite characters from one of my more kid-friendly books." she rolled her eyes and turned around.

She opened the door and took a step, then turned a glittering eye on the two. "But feel free to take my advice... your room is next to mine, right?"

And then she was gone.

_Rooftop_

Byakuya stood at the top, panting slightly while trying not to show it. Although you really couldn't blame him, seeing as he'd run halfway across Karakura town and then up the fire escape after Yoruichi.

Yoruichi flashed him a dangerous smile from where she was perched on the railing.

"Shihoin." he began, straightening a little more. He was finding it hard to breath... seeing as his chest... was a bit heavier than he was used to.

"Ah, don't get your panties in a twist, Byakuya. Here, here." she tossed him the clips that were a sign of his royalty and watched him catch them.

"What was the point of this, Yoruichi?" he growled, tucking it into the pocket of the borrowed black jeans.

"For old times sake, we'll say. Although in all honesty I believe it was because Kisuke is busy and I'm bored." she narrowed gold eyes.

He didn't even blink. "I am not an object made to amuse you, Shihoin. Do not steal my belongings again."

Yoruichi flashed a grin. "Did you notice that the hair tie I gave you is red?"

Byakuya stared at her as if she lost her mind, absently raising his hand and pulling the ribbon out of his hair to inspect. "What of it's coloring?"

"The one I stole when you were a little hot-headed kid was red, too." she grinned again as his eyes widened slightly and then leaned back, dropping off the roof. She shifted to cat-form and landed neatly on the windowsill below as he walked over slowly to check on her.

"See ya back at the shop, Kuchiki-kun." she mocked, bounding down from windowsill to windowsill.

Byakuya said nothing as he headed for the stairs.

_Garden Park_

Retsu Unohana was sitting on a stone bench, calmly drinking a cup of tea she'd bought from the local cafe. Nanao had left her, politely excusing herself to go and track down her captain to make sure he wasn't doing anything that could further harm their reputation. She was left alone, in silence, but she didn't mind. It was peaceful, even if her entire body felt different.

Of course, her time admiring the lilies and sakura blossoms on the trees was cut short by a loud thump and then screams of, "OH MY GOD!" and "SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!" and "I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT HER!"

She stood up immediately, setting her cup down on the bench and hurrying through the shiny steel gate. There was a crowd gathered around a woman lying in the street, even from here Unohana could tell the woman was in bad condition, so she hurried over, murmuring apologies as she brushed past people and knelt.

"Are you her boyfriend or husband, sir?" someone asked, tears of horror running down her cheeks. Unohana looked up and the girl behind the speaker swooned.

Imagine, if you will, a tall, dark-haired man with hair falling neatly over intense, focused eyes of a blackish-gray. The man smiles, a smile that made the girls surrounding him back up even faster than Unohana's previous, ''motherly'' smile could. The smile of a tempter grinned up at the girls, who backed away while turning red or giggling.

"No, I'm a doctor. Now if you would, please, back up. Is there an ambulance on the way?"

Someone nodded, so Unohana went to work.

The woman had a couple broken ribs, which Unohana couldn't do much about with her lying in the street. Her leg was also snapped, a clean break about four inches above her knee, and Unohana could only set it. She wished she had something to hold it, then remembered her current state and pulled off her shirt, tearing it to long strips so she could bind the woman's leg in place.

She heard someone scream and looked up quickly, expecting to see a car or something. But it was just a girl, cupping her cheeks with her fists and swaying.

The woman below her looked up, grinding her teeth but no longer screaming. "Thank... thank you..." she panted. "AGH!"

The ambulance arrived, and Unohana stepped back, resisting the urge to instruct the men on what to do.

Done here, she went back to sipping her tea.

_Tatsuki's Apartment_

"Is there something off about me?" Orihime asked after a silence where she contemplated what, if anything, was wrong with her. "Oh! I know! It's that I've been turned into a guy, right?" she leaned forward and Ulquiorra followed her movements with his eyes. "I don't know if you've noticed, but you're girls."

Grimmjow snarled, patience going up in flames, and grabbed the front of the girl's shirt, noticing the spirit residue that labeled it as Ichigo's. "Tell me, ~beep~, how you think I wouldn't have noticed that I have ~beep~s that are bigger than yours were!" he demanded.

Tatsuki knocked into him, jostling him enough so that he let go of Orihime. "Who do you think you are?"

Keigo and Mizuiro backed into the kitchen, though Mizuiro poked his head out to watch, interested.

"I'm pretty ~beep~ing sure I'm ~beep~ing Grimmjow Jaegerjaques." Grimmjow jerked his wrist out of her grip. "And I'm also sure that I wasn't talking to a ~beep~ like you."

Ulquiorra stepped forward, touching Grimmjow's wrist as he went to hit Tatsuki. "Grimmjow. Aizen-sama did not give orders to play with the trash."

"TRASH?" Tatsuki raged.

Orihime grabbed her friend. "No! Tatsuki-chan, don't! They're super strong!"

Ulquiorra cast a glance around the room. "I apologize, Grimmjow. We will go back to Kurosaki Ichigo and the others, now."

Grimmjow growled like a cat but nodded.

"Yeah, take your freakshow back to Ichigo." Tatsuki snapped as Grimmjow led the way out. He slammed the door shut, breaking the knob as he did so.

"What the ~beep~ was the purpose a that, Ulquiorra?" the blue Espada demanded, stalking away with his thumbs hooked in the pockets of his short shorts.

Ulquiorra followed. "A minor curiosity I wished to settle." he said, still with the emotion of a rock.

"Uh...huh. If ya got a thing for that ~beep~ then you're a ~beep~ing fool, Four." he said over his shoulder. Ulquiorra caught his arm and turned him around.

"You do not have permission to insult me."

"I don't need any ~beep~ing permission." Grimmjow leaned down, itching for another fight.

Ulquiorra didn't lean away, flinch, or show any sign of anything at all. I know, I'm amazed too. "You don't need your tongue, either, cat."

Grimmjow grinned, showing off little fangs in his huge smile. "Let's settle this, then, Ulquiorra." he declared.

Ulquiorra turned around and walked off, black hair slapping Grimmjow in the face as he spun. "I have no time to deal with you, Grimmjow. We know the story, it is time we report to Aizen-sama."

"Like hell!" Grimmjow shouted, chasing after the tiny girl with the ghost-white skin. "I ain't going back 'till I see this cure that blonde's been working so hard on. ~beep~ Aizen."

Ulquiorra met Grimmjow's gaze again. "Very well, we will stay."

Grimmjow was amazed at his easy victory, but nodded.

_Urahara Shop_

Urahara bent over. Carefully... carefully... _carefully... _YES! Okay, the third ingredient was added. Only three more to go, and then an hour of waiting... and then the cure would be perfect!

A sudden, horrible sound reached his ears and he dropped the bag he was holding, hearing it thump to the ground. What was that?

He waved a hand at Mayuri, telling him to continue without him, and walked back out to the front of the shop. Renji was kneeling on the floor, arms around his waist. He must have cried out. Urahara clip-clopped over. "Renji? Whats wrong?"

Rukia looked absolutely happy. She was smug. "He's figuring out another part of being a girl. The painful part."

"Is he giving _birth? _Whats with all the noise?" Ichigo demanded from where he leaned against the candy shelf, licking a lollipop.

"Honestly, Ichigo. I thought you had sisters." Rukia shook her head.

Urahara knelt beside Renji, who was calming down and looking up. "What's going on?" he asked again.

"Hurts like freaking hell!" he snapped moodily, rubbing the area around his belly button.

Urahara had lived with Yoruichi, off-and-on, for nearly a thousand years. He understood immediately, and stood up. "Oh. Bye." and dashed off for his lab.

"Wha...?" Ichigo blinked. "I don't get it."

"Idiot." Rukia grinned. She _laughed _as Ichigo doubled over in pain with a grunt. "Oh! And there's another sweet thing! You sync up if you're in contact enough. Oh god, I hope Urahara's almost done with that cure. Otherwise it's going to be messy."

Renji looked at Rukia. "What?"

"You really are dumb, both of you. You're having cramps."

She nearly fell off the shelf at the looks on their faces.

_**A/N:**_

_I stand by my theory that girl's have the most painful lives of any earth animal._

Guest: _I was thinking about that, but no. They aren't. Unfortunatly._

Trappy:_ Mhmm, yeah, yeah, Love ya._

Hello There: _OH MY LORD DEATH. NO. No. They aren't... they won't... PLEASE don't tell me they... k-kill... DON'T TELL ME! Okay, I'm going to go read, like, forever now._

ultimatemh: _Yes, let's all buckle up for the last few chapters, yeah?_

fearlessX1025:_ I agree completely. Not sadistic, but indeed. And I'm glad you aren't mad about the bleeps..._

Greenblaze37: _Grazi(:_

Banksy: _Yeah, pretty much. I mean... yeah. It just seemed like an excuse to get the powers._

Scaevola2: _He does, doesn't he? A very very SEXY emo, but emo none the less._

Amateur SoulReaper: _Hope you enjoyed(:_

Yourfan: _Erg. Hallibel's release, eh? Bad luck. ... And why shouldn't I search Yukio on the internet? ... Now I kinda want to..._

~HikaKiti ~Mwah3


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"It's done~!" Urahara sang, bounding like a blonde puppy back into the storefront. Ichigo and Renji looked ready to pummel Rukia into the ground, so he slid up behind them. "Enjoy your last hour sex-flipped! It's going to take exactly sixty minutes to let it cool so we can all drink it."

"And then we'll be done?" Renji spun around, eager light entering his eyes.

"Yup!" Urahara grinned, flipping out a fan. "One more hour..."

_ **Thirteenth (and Eighth) Company**_

"Woo~ Jushiro thish is _not _sho bad." Shunsui cheered happily, downing the next drink offered to him by the fourth man that hour.

Ukitake rolled his eyes. "I would advise you to take it easy, Kyouraku, but I know you won't." he shook his head with a smile, all the while sipping at a martini he'd been offered. He was not going to get drunk.

A spirit pressure raised his awareness and he grimaced, sensing what was about to happen as Shunsui fluttered his eyelashes for another drink.

"I've never seen a girl drink like that!" some random bystander cheered, drunk off his butt.

"Go beautiful! Chug it!" another shouted.

"Kyouraku..." Ukitake tried to warn him, but it was too late. The door swung open. A short man walked in, raven hair glittering in the low light.

Shunsui spun around, giggling and peered at the newcomer. "Naaanaaaao-chaaaan?" he slurred, still smiling.

Nanao wasn't armed with her signature clipboard, and it probably wouldn't have been good if she hit her captain here in public anyways. That didn't stop her from looking furious as he reached out and pulled her to him. Especially since it was like her hugs from Matsumoto: lots of chest and the strong smell of alcohol. "Taicho..." she hissed warningly.

Jushiro was blinking in surprise as a man slid into the chair beside him. He'd been so distracted by the events leading to his friend's sure demise that he hadn't noticed him approach. Polite and friendly as ever, he smiled. "Did you need something?"

The man leaned forward for a kiss and Ukitake blushed slightly. "Ah... terribly sorry, but I'll have to refuse." he held up a hand and scooted away.

"Why?" the man whispered, leaning forward again.

Ukitake's eyebrows pulled together and he winced as the man picked up some of the long white hair. It was _really _long now, long enough that when he put it in a ponytail to get it out of the way it reached his elbows. He gave his honest answer, though it was a bit odd to hear coming from a woman's lips: "I have no interest in men." He stood. "Ise-chan, if you would be so kind as to help my best friend..." he tilted his head.

Nanao nodded curtly and slung her captain's arm over her narrow shoulders. Jushiro held open the door and the trio stumbled out.

_Elsewhere_

"You ugly monkey! I'll find the captain first!" a short brown-haired boy was shrieking, bouncing up and down in anger.

"You stupid! I'll find him faster!" the tall, not very attractive, woman with him shouted back.

They'd been arguing about who would find him, without really moving, since the gategaurd back in Soul Society told them their beloved captain had gone to the Human world.

"You're just mad because you're a lady!" Kiyone bellowed, drawing a few curious glances from the few people walking by. It was getting late – nearly 11:30 if the clock on the tower was correct.

"You're just mad 'cause you didn't change much! Not like ya had any boobs anyways!" Sentaro snarled back.

They fumed silently at each other.

As they had... all day. They were really failures at getting anything acomplished.

_**Twelfth Company**_

Nemu was vaguely aware that she hadn't changed a bit. She was still a woman. Why? Because she wasn't a real shinigami, to be honest. And she didn't care one bit. She merely stood to the side of the labaratory, watching as her father and Urahara worked.

Her father did not look attractive – by what she'd diagnosed was favorable, at least, she had no opinion – as a woman. He had insisted on wearing the same paint and such that he wore as a man, and therefore he was black and white. His gold eyes were now framed by thick blue lashes, and the blue mane of hair he had had before was now wild and long, falling past his shoulders.

His body was more like Nemu's now, though, she thought absently as she watched him snatch something from Urahara's outstretched hand. He was thinner, with long legs and a chest around the same size as his ''daughter''s.

"Mayuri-sama?" Nemu spoke up suddenly, surprising herself.

"Shut up, Nemu. I don't have time for you right now." he waved her off with his snappish reply. She only too gladly sunk back into the shadows. He would have beaten her again...

She had, for some reason, been about to tell him he made a very pretty girl.

Was she programmed to lie?

_**Eleventh Company**_

Kenpachi had decided to take a nap since there was no one worth fighting here. He was half-asleep when a familiar weight landedon his stomach.

"Ken-chan! Ken-chan!" his name was punctuated with little bounces on his stomach and he cracked open his eyes.

"Ya dumb brat, Yachiru, get off." he growled, sitting up so she slid off his stomach into his lap. She looked different, not by much but it was noticeable. Her hair had shortened. Her face had narrowed slightly. "Where's Ikkaku and Yumichika?"

"I ran off. Shiny-shiny was mad at Feathers. 'Cause Feathers was going to lotsa stores. I got bored. But I brought ya candy, Ken-chan!" she smiled and reached in the front pocket of her little jean shorts, pulling out a sucker.

Kenpachi snorted and laid back down, rolling so the little pink-haired ''boy'' fell off him. "I don't want that ~beep~ 'Chiru."

Yachiru smiled and pulled off the wrapped, shoving it into his mouth anyways. He sat back up and sat there. "Ken-chan is the best." Yachiru said easily, standing up. "Lets go find someone to beat up!"

Kenpachi stood up, pushing the lollipop to one side of his mouth with his tongue. Yachiru bounced onto his shoulders. "Ken-chan, should I call you Boobies now too?" she asked after they'd started moving.

Kenpachi stopped and reached up, grabbing Yachiru by the back of her collar. He swung her around and held her in front of him so he could look at her. "Call me that and I'll feed ya to one of them Arrancar."

Yachiru flashed a smile and wiggled, swinging herself back onto his shoulder. Because his wide shoulders had narrowed she was forced to sit like a normal toddler with a leg on each shoulder. "Just teasin, Ken-chan. No c'mon, I think Ichi is over... there!" she pointed right and pulled on his ear.

"Stop it, Yachiru, that hurts." he grunted as he took off in that direction.

"You're hair is soft." Yachiru announced. Kenpachi rolled his eyes skywards.

_A few blocks away_

"Yumichika, I'm gonna kill you if you give me one more hat."

"Ikkaku~!" said for-now woman whined, glaring at him. "Being bald may have been hot and worked for you as a guy, but you can't do that as a woman! It's totally _not beautiful." _he hissed.

Ikkaku was on the verge of slamming his head into the wall repeatedly. Yumichika was taking this way too far. Then he paused and arched an eyebrow, turning back to the raven-haired ''girl'' who was flouncing around the store. "YUMI!" he shouted, catching his arm as she passed. "Did you just freakin call me bald?"

Yumichika frowned and thought back, blinking and causing the feathers to brush his rosy cheek. "I think so."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "And then, you said I was hot."

"Yeah, sure. But not as incredibly beautiful as me." he flashed a smile.

"I'm going to kill you now and then jump off a cliff myself." he said, shaking his head.

Yumichika rolled his violet eyes and turned away. "What an ugly death. You could do better."

Ikkaku looked to the sky. "Really?" he growled.

_**Tenth Division**_

"I can sense her! She's in there! And... so are her friends." Matsumoto said, looking disappointed.

"It _is _their house." Toshiro said, frustrated. "Lets just go back to Kurosa-"

"In we go!" She cried, interrupting him as always and shoving open the door. The goofy grin on her face and the strawberry blonde hair on her head kind of reminded him of Ichigo. If Ichigo was an idiot.

"Orihime~" Matsumoto sang as she stepped in, poking her head around.

"Who's here _now?" _that wasn't Orihime, the girl was never that rude.

"Ah! It's Toshiro-kun and Rangiku-chan!" previously mentioned girl, who actually looked more like Ichigo than Matsumoto, looked happy, waving them in. Toshiro sent an apologetic look at the black-haired boy – who was probably a girl, if she/he was friends with Orihime.

"You know them, too, Hime? Did Ichigo try to kill them too?" the boy ignored them, instead snapping at Orihime, obviously frustrated with not knowing what was going on.

"No! Well, yes, at one point. But not really on purpose..." Orihime rubbed the back of her scruffy red-brown hair, giggling.

Toshiro sighed, "We aren't your enemies."

"Hime-chan, do you have any shirts Taicho can borrow?" Matsumoto asked, fighting back a smile.

"Ah~? Toshiro-kun? What's wrong with your shirt?"

Toshiro glared at his lieutenant, seeing the other people in the room. "Nothing."

"It's raining..." Mizuiro said quietly. "Were you wearing white, Toshiro-san?"

"Why does everyone seem to know about this white thing but me?" Toshiro frowned, trying not to appear childish. It didn't help that he was being drowned in the black fabric of his lieutenants coat.

"So what color is it? Can you really tell?" Orihime looked sympathetic. A vein throbbed in Toshiro's temple.

"Black!" Matsumoto said cheerfully.

Toshiro rounded on her. "MATSUMOTO! GET OUT! WE'RE GOING TO THE URAHARA SHOP. NOW."

"Aw~ Taicho..."

"MATSUMOTO!"

_**Ninth Division**_

Hisagi had lost Kira a while back when the blonde had left him at the coffee shop. He was bored and uncomfortable at _still _being a girl, even though it was very nearly the next day. What was it, 11:30 now?

He'd barely stepped out into the rain before a man bumped into him. He looked up, ready to apologize, through his shaggy black bangs.

"I'm sorry." the man beat him to it and flashed a sincere grin. "Hey, whats a girl like you doing up so late?"

"Just heading to visit a friend." Hisagi said politely, stepping to the side and immediately being pelted with rain. "Sorry for bumping you."

"Wait a minute, in the rain like this? Without an umbrella?" The man looked surprised.

Hisagi shrugged his narrow, pretty shoulders and tried to ignore the way his long black hair was sticking to his bare skin. "A little water won't hurt me." he said calmly, moving past. "I'll be going now."

"It'll hurt you if you catch a cold. Would you like me to walk you? I have an umbrella, after all." the man flashed a charming smile and Hisagi was shocked and disgusted to feel his cheeks grow warm.

"Oh no, I'll be fine." he said quickly, stepping past.

"I insist." Random man said, not in a rude way, and swung around. The umbrella easily covered them both. Hisagi shrugged. "My name is Reigi, by the way." he said, obviously trying to start a conversation.

Hisagi glanced at him. "Hisagi." he said.

"Funny name for such a pretty girl." Reigi teased gently.

Hisagi felt himself grow even more red in the face. This wasn't right! "Uh... y-yeah..."

Poor Hisagi didn't know that girl's had hormones like a roller-coaster. Maybe that's why he felt so giggly.

_Hueco Mundo_

Tousen, far away in the throne room of Aizen, sipped at his tea as he sat at the table. The sentient arrancar and Espada were all gathered in that room, shouting with outrage or quietly sulking.

Tousen, for once, was thanking whoever had given birth to him for making him blind. The shrill curses coming from one who could only be Nnoitorra painted a good enough picture of that. Something rammed into his leg and he turned his senses down, recognizing the spirit pressure of the tiny boy scrambling under the table.

Neliel Tu Odershank, huh? He'd thought the girl was dead.

"Wah~ Nelllll! I don't wanna chase you anymore... these things are heavy, and they bounce a lot." that voice and spirit belonged to Nel's now-female fraccion, Pesche. Tousen's eyes narrowed behind his visor as he pieced together what the arrancar as speaking of.

He caught Pesche by the arm as he passed. "Do not speak of your body that way, arrancar. It does not do justice to the female gender, and is entirely inappropriate for a child's ears."

Pesche nearly bit his tongue off trying to answer, by the sound of it. Tousen wasn't surprised, the man had struck him as a coward in the beginning. "Yes ma'am! I mean sir!"

Tousen released him and went back to his tea.

_Yes, he had better mean sir._

Tousen paused mid-sip of his drink and stared at the tealeaves in shock at the thought that had just occurred to him:

_I wonder if I am a pretty girl._

_**Eighth Division**_

_*currently out with the 13th*_

_** Seventh Division**_

Iba was hiding out in the woods, peeking around trees. "Taicho! Taicho, we're clear!" he hissed over his shoulder, shoving the glasses that no longer fit properly on his thin nose. This was some sort of torture – it must be. Urahara was trying to torture him by tearing away his masculinity.

"Iba-fukutaicho, you do not need to act as if we are undercover. I have decided to remain in the woods only because I fear I might disturb some of the humans." Komamura came around the thick trunk of the tree.

In terms of appearance, he had changed much more than the others. He was about two or three feet shorter, and he had been forced to borrow robes from the SWA. He was slender and tiny, with a chest closer to Soi Fon's than Matsumoto. Thick red-brown fur covered every inch of him, but it was longer and softer-looking. His muzzle was shorter and rounder, his eyes wider.

"Taicho!" Iba ducked into a bow.

"Iba-fukutaicho... there is no need for that. It is getting late, I suggest you set up a shelter for the night or find somewhere to sleep."

"Where will you sleep then, Taicho!" Iba asked, still in a bow.

"This grass doesn't look to bad." Komamura said simply, and turned away. Iba gawked and let out a little squeak of surprise.

"T-tail..." he managed. Komamura turned back.

"Ah yes. I do not understand why this transformation has made it so much... fluffier... but yes. I apologize, Iba-fukutaicho, I should have told you."

Iba smiled and tried not to flip out. "E-eh heh..."

"Well, goodnight then." The captain flopped down gracefully and curled into a ball. Iba tried not to notice the fox-like tail flicking over his captain's thinner, fuzzy legs.

_**Sixth Division**_

Renji rubbed the area just beneath his belly button and whimpered. Why was it that he could take a sword – his sword – torn across his shoulder, and yet this hurt him? Rukia seemed ready to dance in laughter at his pain, her eyes bright with glee. Ichigo had taken up the same position across the aisle from him. Renji shot the pretty orange-haired girl a glare which was quickly returned.

"This suuuuuucks." He growled to the little black-haired boy resting her feet in his hair. Rukia lost her smile.

"I know, you idiot. Wait for thirty more minutes, then you'll probably be a guy again." she pushed her toes into his ponytail harshly and he ducked away from her.

"You -" Renji cut off his reply and bent over, gritting his teeth. Rukia's eyes glittered with sudden sympathy and she pushed herself off the top of the shelf to pat his shoulder.

Of course, Byakuya took the time to come in at that moment. And his eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly. "Abarai...?"

"Nii-sama!" Rukia jolted to her feet and lowered her face respectfully. Byakuya nodded to her and brushed past. "Nii-sama! You're fashion sense as a woman astounds me!"

Byakuya's eyebrows curved downward. He looked over his shoulder as he stood by Renji's head. "I am the head of the Kuchiki family, Rukia. You must be able to dress in any form, for any occasion, at any time."

Rukia's eyes widened with awe and reverence. "Nii-sama!" she breathed.

"Oh shut up, Byakuya. You know you're only dressed like that because I gave you the clothes." Yoruichi rolled her yellow eyes as she walked in, grinning.

"Yoruichi-san?" Urahara poked his head around the door, looking like a child offered candy.

"Yeah, Kisuke, I'm back." she flashed another smile and walked over, patting his cheek. "How's the cure comin?"

"It's nearly finished! Twenty minutes and it will be ready!" he said.

"Good job!" she flashed another grin.

Renji rolled over on the floor so he was lying on his back. "Thank. God." he breathed. Ichigo nodded, saying nothing as he groaned and hugged himself around the waist.

"Whats wrong with you two?" Urahara tilted his head to the side and fanned his face.

"They've realized why girls have tougher lives than guys." Rukia said quietly. Yoruichi looked over her shoulder and her smile widened as her eyes brightened. She was obviously amused.

"Poor souls." she tossed back her head and laughed.

Byakuya and Urahara looked at each other. "I don't get it." Urahara said blankly.

_**Fifth Division**_

Momo Hinamori was still unconscious. She had no idea what was going on.

Aizen leaned his chin on his fist and stared out over the arrancar and espada gathered in his throne room. He did not care for all their loud and annoying noises. Could they not hide their emotions better? This was pathetic, really. His Espada... were pathetic:

Stark was asleep on the stairs, not seeming to care that he was flashing everyone because of his position and his low-cut top and his two new assets to his chest, and Lillinette was sitting beside him, arms crossed and looking incredibly awkward wearing a pair of his pants that were much to baggy and long._ At least they aren't running around in a panic like some of these fools,_ Aizen thought.

Barragan was no where to be seen, no doubt having gone back his chambers as soon as the meeting had ended. Aizen did not blame him. While some of them could pull off the woman look, Barragan was much too old.

Hallibel was calm and collected as always, though she did look slightly uncomfortable. She was wearing her usual pants but had discarded her jacket, and her toned dark-skinned chest was clearly visible.

Nnoitorra must have been the loudest voice, shouting about how demeaning and insulting this was, to be trapped in such a useless weak body. He hadn't even bothered covering up, wearing his usual wardrobe and gaining furious looks from most of the female population. His long black hair fell nearly to his butt, and it really didn't help that his huge chest would have been hard to cover even if he'd borrowed Hallibel's jacket.

Szayel, too, had vanished, but not before declaring to all that he was going to see just what had happened. He had been pretty, actually, with the long blonde hair and glittery purple and girly form. It was slightly disturbing, actually.

Yammy was hideous, that was what it should be left at. Butch even as a woman, really. And he was eating like a man, tearing apart whatever food came into his grasp. He snarled for more and burped and Aizen averted his gaze.

The other Espada seemed to be acting relatively the same as the Arrancar– demanding to know why they were female/male instead of male/female.

Aizen closed his eyes. What an annoyance.

_**Fourth Division**_

After the quick rescue of the woman in the street Unohana had gone back to relaxing. But her tea was soon gone and she was soon wishing for company. She headed into the street and walked down the nearly-empty sidewalk. It was very late, and she was passed by only one person as she reached the corner and turned, casting out her senses for someone she knew. Perhaps she could find Isane, or the quiet and shy little Hanataro. She had yet to see or hear either of them.

She'd walked a couple blocks and stopped, seeing a cozy-looking tea shop lit up with a bright "24 Hour Service" sign. She could do with another cup and perhaps a cookie or snack of some sort.

She'd opened the door and the little bell hanging on it rang loudly. The shop was empty with the exception of a teenaged girl working on her laptop in the very back, and the workers, of course.

Unohana made it halfway in before an elderly man wearing the shop's uniform stopped her. "Excuse me, but..." he pointed, looking annoyed.

Unohana politely followed his pointing and found a sign. "No shirt, no shoes, no service." she read silently. Oh... oh she wasn't wearing one, was she...

She looked down, saw toned masculine abs, and nodded. "I'm terribly sorr-"

"Oh my god, let that man stay!" It was the teenager who yelped it. The elderly store worker looked up in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, I see no problem with him." another woman, carrying a cup of coffee to the guest, grinned shyly at Unohana.

Unohana gave a little bow. "No no, this is entirely inappropriate. I had forgotten how I was dressed, please excuse me. I was forced to remove my shirt to bind the broken leg of a woman hit a couple blocks away."

The two women swooned slightly, flushing. Unohana headed for the door.

_Elsewhere_

Miles away, Isane blushed and stood behind her sister as the younger argued. It was so late... they should be finding somewhere to sleep. Was there a curfew in Karakura? Would they get in trouble with the police?

"Kiyone, I can show you where Ukitake-taicho is..." she spoke up tentivly. Kiyone whipped around.

"You can?" she beamed.

Isane nodded. She was very flustered and uncomfortable. The transformation had given her another six inches of height. She loomed over everyone, tall and thin. Her short silver hair was fluffy, barely brushing her ears.

"No! Show me!" Senataro bellowed. Someone yelled out the window for them to shut up.

"I'll show both of you, just please be quiet..." Isane whimpered.

"I can be quieter than him!"

"No, I'm quieter!"

Isane covered her face with her hands, paling further at the feel of stubble on her jaw line.

_Elsewhere_

Hanataro backed up again, and the two teenaged boys stepped forward. "Aw, she's so shy." one said. They both had flowers. "So cute!"

"Uh...uh... I..." Hanataro was scarlet with a blush, and he trembled.

"Come on, baby. We aren't going to hurt you. See? We saw you and brought you flowers!" The one doing the most of the talking stepped forward, holding out his offering.

Hanataro blushed and shook his head. "N-no thanks." he stuttered, reaching up to tug on his pigtails.

"Alright, we'll leave you alone. Here you go." The man set the flowers down and backed away, then walked off. "Sorry we scared you, ya cutie."

The other man dropped his bouquet as well and scrambled after his friend.

Hanataro pried himself off the wall and bent over to pick up the flowers. There were marigolds in there, and if he remembered right Unohana liked a sprig of marigold in her tea sometimes...

He stood up and a hand grabbed his cheek, pulling him forward.

"Wha- mmmph!" Hanataro's eyes flew wide open.

His lips were caught by one of the men, who quickly dropped him and rushed away. "Sorry! You were too cute I couldn't resist!"

Hanataro flopped to the ground and sat there, shocked. The flowers lay on his lap and he just stared.

"UWAAAAAAAH!" he suddenly shrieked, rubbing his lips with the back of his tiny hand. Kissed! Kissed! By a man! "EWWWWYYYY!

_**Third Division**_

Ichimaru Gin prowled around the throne room, bored and trying to keep his mind off the fact that with each step his chest bounced. He weaved his way through a squabbling group of weaker arrancar and then felt something latch onto his left leg. "Huh?" he looked down, eyes still shut, and found a familiar-looking boy huddling behind him. "Neliel?"

The green-haired boy jerked his head up, and the scar and red mark across his pudgy little nose was easily recognizable. "Shh! I'm playin hide-n-seek!"

"An' ya chose me as yer hidin spot?"

"Uh-huh! You is the pwettiest lady in hewe!" Nel giggled, ducking behind Gin's white-clothed leg as a particularly fat woman-Arrancar wobbled by calling for her.

Gin's signature smile widened. "Thank ya, lil one." he said, not really sure if he should take offense of not. Nel crouched behind him.

"Awe dey gone?" she whispered.

"I think they was headin outside." Gin told her, his tone all seriousness.

"Yesh! That means I winned!" Nel gave a little bounce, nearly pulling Gin's pants down since she still had her little fingers tangled in the white fabric.

Gin tightened the light blue belt around his waist. Nel jumped up into his face. "Thank you, Mister Gin!" she said.

Gin showed no surprise, while inside he gave a slight start. So she knew he was and was still not afraid to grab onto him to play a game? "Ah..." he had been about to say something, but the little ex-Espada ran off, giggling.

Well, that was certainly odd.

He took another step and bounced again and sighed, rubbing his back. "I don' know how Ran-chan copes..." he sighed.

_Urahara Shop_

Kira had made it back to the Urahara shop easily, without another round of his picnic appearing on the ground. He was actually feeling just fine now.

He slipped inside and found Renji laying on his back on the floor, Byakuya leaning on the candy shelf by his lieutenant's head. If that wasn't odd enough, Yoruichi was laughing her head off as Renji rubbed his stomach, and Urahara was scratching his head as though puzzled.

"What's going on?" Kira asked, his voice softer and quieter than ever with its now feminine edge.

No one even looked his way until he spoke up again and stepped in from the doorway.

"Oh, whats up Kira?" Renji asked, not moving from the floor.

"I actually asked the same question. Whats going on?" Kira respectfully bowed in Byakuya's direction and went to stand beside Rukia.

"Renji's having girly cramps." Yoruichi purred, nudging said red-head with her bare foot.

Kira's cheeks flushed. "Wh-what?"

"You know, monthly-"

Kira flinched and slid towards the door. "I think I'll go... find... Hisagi..."

"Oh~ be back in nineteen minutes! The cure'll be finished by then!" Urahara called out. Kira nodded and hurried out the door, trying to rid the blush from his cheeks.

Yes, that was definitely what he wanted to hear. All he could do was pray HE didn't wind up with... 'that'.

_**Second Division**_

Soi Fon sat in the back room of the shop, meditating to keep her calm and not outright kill the hat-wearing shopkeeper as soon as she stood up.

Yoruichi-sama... she looked like perfection even as a male... so... amazing...

Soi Fon rubbed her eyes and tried to shake such unnecessary thoughts away... one being that she wouldn't mind Yoruichi staying as a man.

That was a _hot _body. And Yoruichi-sama deserved _perfection. _

Omeada was back in the Sereitei, enjoying the miracle of having a day off. Who cares if he was a woman? That didn't stop him from shoveling more chips into his mouth and devouring every bit of food everywhere.

_**First Division**_

Yamamoto Genryuusai Sigekuni had seen _many _unbelievable things in his long, long life. However, him as a woman was a new one. And it was fairly disturbing, sitting in his usual spot, doing his usual share of the paperwork, and seeing a wrinkled old woman staring back at him from a mirror.

He was silent. Were his eyes getting old? Perhaps he was too tired?

He had quickly looked down at his body, found that he wasn't hallucinating, and given a grunt of a sigh. Urahara, no doubt.

Now, hours later and fairly late at night, he had finished his paperwork, downed a countless number of cups of tea, and was left with nothing to do. He knew that his squads had all fled to the word of the living to demand answers. His own squad was oddly quiet.

In fact, Sereitei was oddly quiet.

Perhaps this gender problem wasn't so bad after all.

_**World of the Living. **_

Grimmjow grunted as yet another man purposefully bumped into him, and raised a hand to punch the pervert in the face. Honestly, was every man in Karakura the same? Grimmjow was annoyed, he'd hardly gotten back into his gigai three minutes ago and he'd already been felt up by two men.

He glanced down and saw that it was, in fact, Ulquiorra. And that Ulquiorra's neck was resting in what a certain stuffed animal called ''the valley of the gods''. Grimmjow quickly backed up the same time his shorter companion stepped forward. "What the ~beep~ are you stopping for?" Grimmjow snarled, readjusting the sports bra that was all that covered his torso.

"I sense something-" he turned his face to the right and Grimmjow's temper flared up.

"Oh _hell _no. Not again. Don't tell me there's another girl you want to go stare at for half a second before leaving. This is bull~beep~. No ~beep~ing way am I going." he interrupted.

Ulquiorra turned to face him. "I am your superior, you will not address me that way. I was not under the impression that I knew more than one female human, and therefore do not have the need to see any others. Lastly, the object of which I sensed seems to be coming from the shop we left not an hour ago."

Grimmjow snorted. "Well then why the ~beep~ did you stop? We were headin that way, ya ~beep~."

Ulquiorra didn't even blink. "I meant to alert you to the fact that we may not be females very longer."

Grimmjow's eyes widened. "Well then GO! If I get one more hand touchin my boob I might rip a human's arm off!"

"There does seem to be a large amount of trash in this city." Ulquiorra tossed over his shoulder as they walked.

"Yeah... sure. Trash." Grimmjow rolled his eyes and brushed past his tiny companion.

_**Urahara Shop**_

"It's done!" Urahara cheered. He was surprised when the door stayed in tact, when no one came bursting in like last time.

"Well, prove it. Go on, fix yourself." Renji was sitting up now, complaining in words that were an echo of a certain other lieutenant's about how lying on his back hurt.

Urahara went to down a small cup of the stuff when it was snatched from his finger's by the femified Mayuri, who grinned. "I'll do the testing myself."

He gulped the small bit of the cure and immediately began to shift. Finally, he was back to normal.

"Seee?" Urahara glared at Renji.

Renji ignored him, snapping to his feet and downing the cure. It took a while longer for him to grown another foot and flatten out in certain areas, but he was finally back as well. And he grunted. "These pants are entirely too tight."

"Where's Ichigo?"

"He went home to get clothes so he wouldn't be a guy wearing a miniskirt."

"Smart man."

"For once."

So there it was. The end of the awkwardly disturbing tale of Ichigo's bounce, Unohana's tempting smile, and Grimmjow's ability to be molested.

Let us hope it never happens again.

_**A/N: **And that's that! Fin! I agree with myself, I hope dearly that I don't EVER GET THIS IDEA AGAIN. This was fun, but oh my gosh if I have to write ''chest'' or ''boobs'' one more time I might flip._

_Anyways, thank you for making this story my most popular on this sight. 114 reviews last time I checked. That's awesome. I love you all for reviewing and favoriting and everything. Thank you so much(:_

_If you could hit that review button one more time, all of you who stuck with me until the end, then I would be the happiest person on earth. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you._

_The end._


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